If I Were A P***y

Inspired by Chris after A Simple Pause whilst he purred at the ladies on his thread.

If I were a p***y

I'd climb upon your lap

I'd purr like a kitten

til you fed me

 & stroked me,

teased me, said 

'here kitty, kitty'

then I'd lick you all over

If I were a p***y

                                         puuuuurrrrrrrrrr

Reviews

[Chris]

Cats have ever followed me home - even if I were walking a Great Dane (true story). I've had them leap into my arms in parking lots...curl on my lap at outdoor cafes. And once home, they curl atop my books, journals, even the keyboard. Watching them play with computer mouse symbols is fun... especially if you connect the HDMI cable to a LARGE flatscreen TV and move the Mouse from across the room.

I've one that stands on the kitchen table and talks with me as I make coffee or clean dishes.

[Frieda P]

Not sure how to read that...but lucky you, either way! ;-)

[Chris]

Every word is true... interchangeable parts remain behind my eyes... chuckling here.

[Frieda P]

Ahh, I can see behind those baby blues sir....

[Chris]

if so then you are rolling on your floor...giggling uncontrollaby at the mind pic.

[Frieda P]

Since I'm still at work, I tried to control my urge to fling myself to the floor in a fit of giggles...payroll is going to be a b***h this week, ha....!

[Chris]

chuckling here... you really have NO idea of just how true THAT statement is about to be...

[Frieda P]

Sounds ominous, not sure which one of us should worry....!

[Chris]

neither - actually...you were just ...teased.

[Frieda P]

Yes I KNOW, big time! ;-)

[Chris]

Puuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr..."

[Frieda P]

RAWR!

[Chris]

MROWL!! hssth, hisst!!

[J. J. Nightingale]

Wow .. You have a large flat screen TV ... wow ....

[Chris]

cat goes edge to edge chasing the pointer. Of course sometimes when a normal movie is on the cat wants to sit a couple of inches from the center of the screen's surface and wait for the mouse to appear...

[Chris]

is a fairly large longhair cat... has a Lion's Mane...

[J. J. Nightingale]

Ha .. I always had 5 or 6 cats all the time, when the last one died, I never went to get another one ... I love them so, can't bear the loss ... but ....... WOW You have a large flat screen TV ...Wow .... :)

[Frieda P]

ha shiny stuff! Did you forget your little green pill again Jazzy? ;-)

[J. J. Nightingale]

Wow ... I had one long hair like that, the shedding was too much for me .. mostly had tabby's .. but I love them all . Pictures !!! show pics ..lol ............:)

[J. J. Nightingale]

Ha Frieda ... nooooooo .. took two ..lol .. Work to do, and a Jury Summons to get excused from .. sigh ..... >>

[Chris]

One day I'll post some pics of the "guys" - neutered male and female - a third (female also) was put down last November it was aged and fading and at its end.

[Frieda P]

Work ugh, how can we get any 'real work' done here when work interferes? just start hyperventilating Jazz, it works every time ha ;-)

[J. J. Nightingale]

lol @ Frieda ... :)...................... >>>>

[Chris]

I don't think Freida was teasing!...

[J. J. Nightingale]

I KNOW THAT !!!!!!!!!! ..:) ..............

[Frieda P]

haha I've never actually had to hyperventilate, I carry my burden of proof papers with me at all times to show I've been deemed legally insane...that works too Jazzy.... ;-)

[J. J. Nightingale]

HA HA .......................... :)

[Frieda P]

:-)

[Frieda P]

Seriously, 313 hits, your people are all sick! lol ;-)

[The Nude Writer]

Awwwwe kitty.. This is about a cat right? ;)

[Frieda P]

haha of course, what else could it possibly be? ;-)

[The Nude Writer]

There are so many P***y double-entendres on here. I have trouble snuggling with my cats now =p jk. I love a nice p***y ;)

[Dean]

i love it , maybe because im gross. and i like word play. made me smile . awsome job.

[Frieda P]

LOL!

[Geon Quuin]

I miss licking p***y. stroking it. feeling it.

[Frieda P]

No comment, thanks. ;-)

[hmarieee]

Hahaha hilarious and clever.

[Frieda P]

Ha, thanks, sometimes you just gotta let loose. :-)

[KeeD]

hahaha i can picture you meowing :P ..I'd take such good care of you < 3
You know tie up a ball and wave it in your face, till you grab on to it with claws and what not :P .. feed you that special milk you like.... complaint about you sleeping on your a*s all day doing nothing :P but eating and sleeping D: gotta love cats.

[Frieda P]

Ha! I know exactly what you're picturing.....

[CS]

Your poem is great. The reviews your poem has evoked : Priceless!
I think you should sell this off to Whiskas as an advert for their cat food bags. It would really confuse the hell out of people at Super Target.

[Frieda P]

LOL! Your review is priceless! To think I was going to take it down...

.....*dialing* Whiskas... ;-)

[OTownPete]

Holy crap, I really don't know where to go with this one...I'm sure that's what you intended. Your friend in words, Pete

[Frieda P]

Ha, yes this is true, I hardly expected to get this many responses to begin with, but it's all good! ;-)

[AYVID N]

So very cute. I'd love to be a p***y! ;)

[Frieda P]

No comment. ;-)