Read Between the Lines

If you won't read my lips

read between the lines

If all you see is the motion of my hips 

I've got news for you and a little tip 

Instant gratification is not my game

so you have nothing to gain

if you don't understand my plea

 maybe it's you,and not me

Take a step back into reality

you're no longer my cup of tea

Let's cut our losses before it's too late

you've always had one foot out the gate

Reviews

[KeeD]

What John said, can read them as individual poems and they still stand out as really good pieces and combined together they form something beyond great. Very well thought off, the context, the form in which you've written and presented it.. shows an experienced pen. Excellent!

[Frieda P]

Thanks, glad you appreciate it Kee.

[ms. barrie]

i love the poetic sultry intensity of this poem, Frieda, very powerful, your lines, your words do slay. wonderfully penned (i know, i know i keep repeating myself, ha!)

[Frieda P]

haha, no worries, if that's what you have to say, repeat yourself, repeat yourself. ;-)

[ms. barrie]

okay, okay. :) -- i'll be sure to resume reviewing again once i figure things out for story, now i'm lacking sleep...have yet to read current chapter for class (again.), which is on Monday! I hope you're doing well - xox :)

[AYVID N]

A very creative and delightful piece of writing from you Frieda!
Each line thrills and kills.

Now when will I be able to say these convincingly? ;)

[Frieda P]

Oooo, thrills and kills, I like that! ;-)

[AYVID N]

:)

[luviva]

hahhah.. and the next is following the one that was always out of the gate..
ok love the inbetween the lines poem... going back to read the rest!
and the bold one now, i love it, "Instant gratification is not my game" that says it all 4 me!
loved it en yeah it is a real read in between the lines poem coz if you ignore the separations it really kills the feel but its stil a nice one when read as a whole.

[Frieda P]

ha, thanks for the review, always interesting!

[luviva]

welcome ma dear..!

[Ambereen]

loved the formatting ... And yes I realized you could read seperate n together coz of the previous review . Clever Clever Woman ... Must say no sleep seems to bring out the best in you :)

[Frieda P]

Ha, a fluke, at best, I'm a crank with no sleep. Thanks...

[Michael G.]

Plainly told. I like your use of fonts.
Some won't ever understand what's written in between the lines. They have to be hit over the head with it. And that's not a given.
Good write, Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Even then, it's a struggle, thanks Michael.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Clever piece that can be read seperately or together.

[Frieda P]

Oh I'm so glad you caught that John, wasn't sure if anyone would. We still friends? ;-)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Why wouldn't we be? I will just be staying off your toes in case I damage your blue shoes lol

[Frieda P]

You'e such a b***h ;-P

[N!LoC]

ooo... a little sass... a little spite.. a little wrath... i likey very much !

[Frieda P]

ha nice way to put it, thanks!