In the Beginning

In the beginning 

there was light

                    a trumpets cry for joy

no eclipse could asunder

the gale breath from our sails

our paths took off on

                         different roads to outer banks

I look for you in every smile,

 in every embrace

the gypsy caravan of my animus

seeks that peaceful

 dove of love

 heatless warmth spins my heart

                          arctic frigid

a  bruised touch scars the soul 

 beyond repair

imparts the spirit with

 dark angels of acrid savor

 tenement ofour being

 now stated of shambles

our shelter of

 paradise

 merely a burnt down shanty

recesses of the conscience

            ...............................envision a revivification

waking essence of massacre and carnage's

accesses/ morose truth

once upon a time character respected

 decorum's decency

led down the groove of polite protocol

                                      and tangled webs

in the end that 

lies in darkness

 

a wounded bitter

                                               pathetic whisper of a whimper 

Reviews

[kublakhan27]

I read this as a lament on the splintering ability of human beings to communicate with each other, everything is virtual now...the heatless warmth was the driving image here for me...the cold feels more real, and more indicative of human nature...the extension of warmth has become a hollow gesture in so many ways...wonderful writing Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

I like your review better than my poem! ;-)

[kublakhan27]

Well if my review is that good, it's only cuz I was inspired so much by the poem ;)

[Michael G.]

I like the three "f's" here... form, feel, flow.
Well done.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Michael, much appreciated.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

As always pathos in platefulls of tangled spaghetti words that taste of bitter medicine.

[Frieda P]

That's not constructive, now you're just being mean John.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I think the poet doth protest too much! we all want to write for impact, to convey pathos and meaning and emotion and that is what this piece does my sensitve lady of the night.

[Frieda P]

Platefuls of tangled spaghetti? yeah right....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Metaphor for use of metaphors and comnplicated concepts.

[Frieda P]

Do you work in advertising John? ;-P

[John Alexander McFadyen]

What with my poor use of English and my appalling spelling! lol

[ms. barrie]

amazingly powerfully profound poem you have here, brilliantly penned.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Barrie, glad you enjoyed it ;-)

[ms. barrie]

you welcome, Frieda, always enjoy your writings, just slow on the uptake as usual :))

[Frieda P]

No time restraints or rules here Barrie, i appreciate the response!

[ms. barrie]

oh wait, restraints, i have to remember that. sorry thinking of current story, oops. you're quite welcome, Frieda :)

[Frieda P]

Is it about handcuffs? lol ;-)

[ms. barrie]

all i'm ah gonna say, it's about ahem, control, in every which way :))

[AYVID N]

The journey started joyfully but destruction happened somewhere along the way leaving the soul devastated and scarred. Very powerful descriptions used there to convey the feelings of bitterness and pent-up hurt.

A very touching write from you Frieda. You were outstanding here. Pen on! 100/100

[Frieda P]

Awh thanks for that grand review Divya...xo

[AYVID N]

:) welcome Frieda!

[Baby Ricochet]

Awesome

[Frieda P]

Thanks Baby!

[Emerald Seas]

Last few lines just clinch it. Well written! Kudos

[Frieda P]

Grazie Sera....

[Deron Alexis]

way cool Frieda ima spend some time thinking with this one then come back in the mean time loved the comparisons gonna have to take some time with the metaphors though but i'm sure i'll get it and be impressed when i do

[Frieda P]

Take your time ;-)

[s y e]

Ooooooooooooft! Das ist sehr sehr super!

Very powerful last lines mama F, your amazeballz, Love ya xox

[Frieda P]

Haha, you make me smile! ;-D

[s y e]

Good. Glad I do

[Frieda P]

I didn't know noodles could be so sweet ;-D

[s y e]

Aw shucks mama ;-) love ya doll xo

[Annabelle Lee]

wonderful.

[Frieda P]

Thanks muchly...

[Ahmad Cox]

Oh wow. The last lines sums it up so well.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Ahmad, glad you liked it. ;-)