Water Boarding Love

you unfold me try to mold me

my breath stilled under water

once upon a time 

we fell into each other's spell

dropped from the cliffs

 of sightless starry bits

rhythmical fine foot forward 

i stood tall until 

i tripped into your darkness

the lure stifled 

smothered in clouds of twisted taffeta

caged dancers can't take flight

your pressing melody now suffocating

magnetic beauty of blindness

now you weigh heavy on my soul

third times not a swim in the park

your shattered mirror image 

tarnished and without reflectors

I read you in braille

now i drown in your 

glaring reverberations

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I love how you use the language. Title caught my attention. The poem took me to some deep and powerful emotion.
"caged dancers can't take flight'
When the will to fight is gone. What is left? I like the closing lines to the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Coyote, glad you see where I was going with that one.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This was nice torture lol!

[Frieda P]

;-)

[Michael G.]

Lovely, sad.
"I read you in braille..."
splendid sensory choice of thought. Very well done.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Michael, muchly appreciated...

[David Scott]

Now this really is a moving poem. Relevant. Vivid imagery. Universal as we look "reflective" into our own choices, now "shattered" and "tarnished".
I could feel my lungs burning... (not literally)... as if my life depended on perfectly timing my next breath.
Well done.

[Frieda P]

Ooooft, best review from you ever!

[fireblossom]

The spell is crazy isn't it? Magnetic beauty of blindness...indeed. Another great poem.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much, yes, one would think you'd learn from the first strike of blindness.

[KAOlmsted]

I was expecting this to be about torture...perhaps it is. Another well written piece, Frieda. "magnetic beauty of blindness"...really good stuff.

[Frieda P]

I think so, depends on the relationship. Thanks kimmer.

[KAOlmsted]

That it does. My pleasure.

[LA Lorena]

I like this one a lot FP. It is a cruel irony that what lures us in and feels so right in the beginning is what does us in, in the end.

[Frieda P]

Very cruel, very very cruel...

[s y e]

As always, I loved it. You have such a beautiful way with words and your writing is amazing! Well done my dear.

[Frieda P]

Aw shucks hon, you just lurve me.........x

[s y e]

Yip! :-D I do! hehe. Lots and lots and jelly TOTS! xox

[KeeD]

This reminds me of the melodic dance of salmon and the fresh water of rivers as they swim downstream to migrate and give birth to their spawn shortly after they deteriorate and meet their end in the ocean. That giant body of water consumes them and it's a burden they can't quite take. Now through this poem readers could perceive end amount of things, like a relationship gone sour, a parent dealing with loss, it just proves how beautiful and intelligent your writing is Freida. Great job, I might have totally misinterpreted your poem but for me these things made sense :D I get lost in your words :D

[Frieda P]

Well, it's not about fish...but a struggle yes. You do with it what you wish, I'm just glad it drew you in and you played with it. ;-)

[KeeD]

Yeah I just compared it to a fishes struggle :D lol i'm silly like that sowiee < 3

[Frieda P]

Don't be sorry, I love your rendition....you're much too clever, and cute to have to apologize. ;-P

[Ahmad Cox]

Wow, so deep and dark and surreal yet beautiful at the same time. I loved it.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Ahmad.

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Wow you write a lot, and it's mostly all good! The end of this really caught my attention, especially the last stanza. I like this format too.

[Frieda P]

What else does one do when they can't sleep? ha, you telling me to start another account? ;-P

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

I wonder if anyone is using the erotic account I made for collaboration...

[Frieda P]

OH GAWD was that you?!!

[Michael Kevin Spencer]

Well some people rate erotic poetry really low on here, so a lot of us feel scared to share it. But I'm a huge fan of erotic verse myself.

[Frieda P]

You seriously worry too much about what 'other' people think hon, get with the program, you're a big boy now ;-P