Water Boarding Love

you unfold me try to mold me

my breath stilled under water

once upon a time 

we fell into each other's spell

dropped from the cliffs

 of sightless starry bits

rhythmical fine foot forward 

i stood tall until 

i tripped into your darkness

the lure stifled 

smothered in clouds of twisted taffeta

caged dancers can't take flight

your pressing melody now suffocating

magnetic beauty of blindness

now you weigh heavy on my soul

third times not a swim in the park

your shattered mirror image 

tarnished and without reflectors

I read you in braille

now i drown in your 

glaring reverberations

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I love how you use the language. Title caught my attention. The poem took me to some deep and powerful emotion.
"caged dancers can't take flight'
When the will to fight is gone. What is left? I like the closing lines to the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Coyote, glad you see where I was going with that one.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Reminds me of pieces of my life. How blind love is to start with and how easily we dive in not realizing that we will soon be suffocated and buried under its terrible weight. As usual Frieda an Awesome write. I love your way with words.

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Carolann, not sure how I missed this one...lovely review.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Welcome :-)

[Sid]

Nice write but then I've come to expect that from you so I'll just say that this is brilliant and be done with it...amazing write!

[Frieda P]

ha geez the pressure, thanks so much!! ;-)

[Sheila Kline]

And this is how love destroys us! Your last lines make me want to come up for air!
We should know not to go in past the flag line, but we often do not obey the warnings and get caught in the undertow, the rip tides, the end all of the relationship, or I should say, "should be the end all", and oh how high is the price we pay for not heeding the warnings, for not listening to sense and sensibility!
Amazing imagery my friend!

[Frieda P]

Love this review, I think I like your review better than my poem! ;-)
Thanks my friend!

[TillingBuckle50]

Thank you, I can't stop reading all your poems!

[Frieda P]

Woooo, be my guest! I love it when you read me, thanks so much. ;-)

[TillingBuckle50]

Hahah, I'm so glad I found this community, there's alot of talented writers here! My writing is so juvenile compared to this, but i feel like there's alot to be learned here!

[TillingBuckle50]

the last stanza is great

[Frieda P]

thanks, yep, lots of talented poets abide, I've learned a lot in the short two months I've been here myself.

[InsanityWriter]

I can't think of words to describe this poem. XD It's amazing. ;) Stupendous piece!!!

[Frieda P]

Wooo, I like this review! ;-)

[Ayvid N]

"I read you in braille"
Wow!
Such blind groping! Time to move on :)
Very cutting, very nice!

[Frieda P]

ha don't you know it! :-)

[Ayvid N]

:)

[Ayvid N]

i do i do i do :)

[Frieda P]

hahah we getting married? ;-P

[Ayvid N]

but Frieda...
"caged dancers can't take flight"

[Frieda P]

haha now you're speaking my language....

[Ayvid N]

:)

[Frieda P]

:-D

[Baby Ricochet]

The last stanza Is great. Good job frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks Baby.

[SparrowSong]

I don't know what to say, truly...this is another favorite. To drown in waters too blue, too close, is suffocating. Your last stanza is brilliant. Emotive writing at its finest, this is superb penning.

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly my friend.

[Annabelle Lee]

great as usual

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Annabelle Lee.