Cutlass

Cutlass

A Poem by Frieda P
"

Making this one an interactive poem, which ending do you like best, cast your votes! lol Is it door #1 or #2? ;-)

"
You plunged your dagger in so deep
   it had cut me to the core
the blood trickled to your feet
   you said you required nothing more
Dagger ceased to be a useful tool
   once it dulled and spread itself so thin
shiny wore off as it sank its tip into a cesspool 

The moral to this tragic beat
as you can probably guess
tis don't s**t where you eat

                     or


The moral to the story
could be simply learned
Slice and dice is so nice
when the onus has been earned




© 2013 Frieda P


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Featured Review

Wow profound, I love how you circled such intense imagery around the phrase don't s**t where you eat. I pictured the dagger, I pictured the cut so deep, blood trickling down feet..the dagger being used to inflict so much hurt till it's nothing but scrapped dirt and then the different perspectives where the dagger could be heartless stabs of a man ego, etc.. there are many ways to perceive this short marvelous piece and that just proves that it's brilliant writing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

lol, well, the crazy part is true! I'll let you know when you've gone off the beaten path. ;-)
KeeD

11 Years Ago

Haha :P you're cute.
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

;-)



Reviews

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Sid
Wow, nicely done, this little gem can be perceived in various ways and you got me thinking here...great write!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Oh jaysus, I'm mortified after reading your deep profound poetry, you had to pick this one to read?!.. read more
I mean at one point the dagger will always become ineffective. You can only stab someone so many times...

I like it, Frieda. Moral number one suits the beginning better IMO.

Posted 11 Years Ago


That_Girl

11 Years Ago

Haha fine, then it becomes ineffective when some of us die. ;) lol
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

hahaha, yep that would be the final straw, smart, I'm sure you're a member of Mensa!
That_Girl

11 Years Ago

lol oh for the love of god- not me. I am so far away from Mensa it's actually sad. xD
Either/or to the endings. Or make the endings both of them. Two morals... same basic meanings. Both really strong.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Whilst your wife is yielding it or otherwise? ha
Michael G.

11 Years Ago

Faced down a knife... and a gun before. (Not from her, and not at the same time.) Still, watched the.. read more
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Yeah, it'll probably stay that way now, since nobody can make up my mind!
I do hope these have healing values to them.I can't imagine the world you were forced to live. This screams out... and obviously, no one heard in time. For that, I'm sorry.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

I don't know if it's strength or the my last grasp at sanity, been going on for quite some time now,.. read more
Michael G.

11 Years Ago

Bring it. I'll shoulder part of it. And I'm sure I'm not alone. Some pretty great people here at the.. read more
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Yep, I found that out early on, some good people and brilliant talent. Thanks Michael, much appreci.. read more
a great moral....i have to stop eating in the bushes at mcdonalds lol jk jk

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

You bad bad boy! ;-)
Sirius King

11 Years Ago

lol :-))
That is an interesting moral, well at least an interesting way to put it... Before seeing the ending I was thinking... you cannot give yourself completely to someone or else you lose yourself as an individual.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)

11 Years Ago

I am not sure what you two are talking bout and probably don't want to, LOL
KAOlmsted

11 Years Ago

Noooooooo...you really probably don't... :-D
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

You're so right Dale!! ;-)
I like this poem, the imagery of it is great. The only thing I think that I question is the last line, as it seems quite abrupt and doesn't flow with the rest of the words. The rhyme is still there, but the rhythm is a little off. Nice work :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

I always like to slap people in the face if I ever get the chance ;-)
Thanks....
See, now I honestly would not have guessed that was the moral to the story...so I'm glad you clued me in. Seemed a bit...Elizabethan maybe? Perhaps a Shakespearean actor could profess "Thine breast!" and stagger stage left? Quirky, for sure. To have this image throughout, and then to get sucker punched with the moral. You're the queen of this type of write, Frieda...we all genuflect.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

I figured too many of the guys would be cringing in pain...oh, fook em! ;-)
KAOlmsted

11 Years Ago

...well, you know where I stand on that subject ;-)
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

...well, I certainly don't need a map! ;-)
I never stop learning about life thank you Frieda, haha.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

As it should be Creeper ;-)
Wow profound, I love how you circled such intense imagery around the phrase don't s**t where you eat. I pictured the dagger, I pictured the cut so deep, blood trickling down feet..the dagger being used to inflict so much hurt till it's nothing but scrapped dirt and then the different perspectives where the dagger could be heartless stabs of a man ego, etc.. there are many ways to perceive this short marvelous piece and that just proves that it's brilliant writing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

lol, well, the crazy part is true! I'll let you know when you've gone off the beaten path. ;-)
KeeD

11 Years Ago

Haha :P you're cute.
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

;-)

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Added on January 10, 2013
Last Updated on January 17, 2013
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Author

Frieda P
Frieda P

NJ



About
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..

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