Cutlass

Cutlass

A Poem by Frieda P
"

Making this one an interactive poem, which ending do you like best, cast your votes! lol Is it door #1 or #2? ;-)

"
You plunged your dagger in so deep
   it had cut me to the core
the blood trickled to your feet
   you said you required nothing more
Dagger ceased to be a useful tool
   once it dulled and spread itself so thin
shiny wore off as it sank its tip into a cesspool 

The moral to this tragic beat
as you can probably guess
tis don't s**t where you eat

                     or


The moral to the story
could be simply learned
Slice and dice is so nice
when the onus has been earned




© 2013 Frieda P


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Featured Review

Wow profound, I love how you circled such intense imagery around the phrase don't s**t where you eat. I pictured the dagger, I pictured the cut so deep, blood trickling down feet..the dagger being used to inflict so much hurt till it's nothing but scrapped dirt and then the different perspectives where the dagger could be heartless stabs of a man ego, etc.. there are many ways to perceive this short marvelous piece and that just proves that it's brilliant writing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

lol, well, the crazy part is true! I'll let you know when you've gone off the beaten path. ;-)
KeeD

11 Years Ago

Haha :P you're cute.
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

;-)



Reviews

Wow says it all really. Great write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Danke. ;-)
Ending # 2 as I like putting the old one two punch to wrap it up - slice and dice! That dagger even though dulled can still cut the ways it needs to when it's given a reason to do so.
I like the opportunity to choose the ending. So, which ending did you go wit first?

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

So out of character for you, you feeling alright? :D
KAOlmsted

11 Years Ago

Ha! Yes...I can sleep easy tonight with that final helping of Frieda sarcasm all warm and fuzzy on m.. read more
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

:D
Ah, an interesting read! I like the first few lines. In real life do we recognize what serves as the dagger? Sometimes it is sharp words, silence, trying too hard, or not trying at all... or not caring either way. Intriguing poem

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Emerald Seas

11 Years Ago

And just to ease your mind, I am far from a decent poet. I can only write what grabs me - unfortunat.. read more
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

haha, now you're just trying to pacify me! ;-P
Emerald Seas

11 Years Ago

lol - not at all. After I break away to have a little dinner, your work is first on my list (I have .. read more
Due

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

I thought you might say that. ;-)
Robin

11 Years Ago

devi essere psichico
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Are you calling me a psycho?! :D
I have this recurrent line from some song that I can't remember that goes "it's cruel to be kind" and when I think of my ex, I think of a butterknife. This was a poignant read.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

KAOlmsted

11 Years Ago

Nick Lowe...and yeah...bad imagery ;-)
Michael Kevin Spencer

11 Years Ago

You guys are perverted!
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Who's the one calling it quits with the retriever here? ;-P
Slice and dice is so nice
when the onus has been earned

i love these lines, rage is dripping from that poem and i'm loveing it!, i could pretty much say that about a certain person in my mind XD, great write! deffinatly a favourite of mine!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

hahaha, when you write it, it reads bizarreO! did I say that? lol
Salar Majak

11 Years Ago

LOL! in a good way yes ;)
Frieda P

11 Years Ago

LMAO!
all i can say is "brilliant write" and i sure am glad you said onus and not anus...such a huge difference that would have made!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Bhahaha, you're confusing this with Back Door :-P
quinfinn

11 Years Ago

mebbe
I have to admit even though I know this poem was supposed to be a lesson of woe I just ended up laughing all the more.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Always here for your entertainment Ahmad :-D
I'm glad you laughed!
Like ending #2 best but not sure about earning an onus?

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

The onus is the liability...so why do you like #2 if you're not sure? lol
I prefer the second ending, but then you know I'm a sucker for a tight rhyme.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Frieda P

11 Years Ago

Yes, I understand ms OCD, thanks! ;-)

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33 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on January 10, 2013
Last Updated on January 17, 2013
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Author

Frieda P
Frieda P

NJ



About
If you want to know me, read my poetry, it's all in there. I am a mother of three sons (my finest moments) a sister, a survivor and a little bit crazy. I lost my beloved sister to suicide, so you'll.. more..

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