Cutlass

Making this one an interactive poem, which ending do you like best, cast your votes! lol Is it door #1 or #2? ;-)

You plunged your dagger in so deep

   it had cut me to the core

the blood trickled to your feet

   you said you required nothing more

Dagger ceased to be a useful tool

   once it dulled and spread itself so thin

shiny wore off as it sank its tip into a cesspool 

The moral to this tragic beat

as you can probably guess

tis don't s**t where you eat

                     or

The moral to the story

could be simply learned

Slice and dice is so nice

when the onus has been earned

Reviews

[KeeD]

Wow profound, I love how you circled such intense imagery around the phrase don't s**t where you eat. I pictured the dagger, I pictured the cut so deep, blood trickling down feet..the dagger being used to inflict so much hurt till it's nothing but scrapped dirt and then the different perspectives where the dagger could be heartless stabs of a man ego, etc.. there are many ways to perceive this short marvelous piece and that just proves that it's brilliant writing.

[Frieda P]

J'adore....!! I love how your mind works, you always catch where I'm going... ;-)

[KeeD]

for real ? I just sometimes think i'm crazy and perceive the total opposite of what you try to represent through your poems but you're to sweet to tell me other wise haha

[Frieda P]

lol, well, the crazy part is true! I'll let you know when you've gone off the beaten path. ;-)

[KeeD]

Haha :P you're cute.

[Frieda P]

;-)

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I certainly prefer the first version of morality

[Kaylor Mason]

wow that's interesting. I don't entirely get it, but the imagery is good

[Frieda P]

Really, you don't get it? It's about a man that only wants one thing from a woman, then moves on to break the next heart.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

should be "its tip"

but great philosophy here...so true...

once you've abused me enough...there will be nothing left to abuse---

and what goes around comes around.

i love the attitude in this.

[Frieda P]

thanks for the correction...and the great review jacob.

[AYVID N]

The first two stanzas were enough to have me clapping my hands with geelful wicked vengeful joy!
I din't get the last two lines though!
But I think I got everything from it that I should anyway!

[Frieda P]

You know, Lorena Bobbet, that cut off her husbands penis when she found out he was cheating, and threw it out a moving car to the curb. Not sure why she got jail time for that. ;-)

[s y e]

WOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Oooooooft, gave me the heeby jeebies! I could imagine it all!!!! Good job!

[Frieda P]

ha Ooooooooft, always my fav review!!!

[s y e]

Hehehe. Coolies

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Amazing. I like #1 better than #2.

[Frieda P]

Everyone likes something different, I guess I'll just leave them both up! Thanks. :-)

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Anytime. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

#2

[Frieda P]

Thanks Baby, I would have thought you'd go for #1 tbh.

[Coyote Poetry]

Artwork and words were amazing. Your strong description gave life to the artwork. No weakness in the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Nice review, thanks so much Coyote!

[David Scott]

Well if I get a vote... Neither "ending" helps the write.
I would stop without the "moral of the story".
I liked the poem very much otherwise.

[Frieda P]

That never occurred to me quite frankly. Always making waves, you. Thanks David.

[David Scott]

A born rebel. ;-)
My honest vote...

[Frieda P]

I didn't mean that to be bad, I love a rebel. :-P

[David Scott]

Oh no dear...
Never took it to be.
I was just saying that I was not actually trying to be one here. It is my "gift". Ha

[Frieda P]

hahahaha, yep you're gifted!

[David Scott]

Like a skunk is gifted with scent. ;-)

[Frieda P]

yeah that! ;-P

[InsanityWriter]

I liked both, #1 was funny, but I think #2 fit better. (: Nice job!

[Frieda P]

haha, skittles you're wicked! ;-)