B***h

B***h, you call me a bi_atch

like it's really my name

hard to tell if you love me

or abhor me

the truth is in your denial

playing in this sand box 

you think is love

gritty sex and all that jazz

luscious lips on the hips,

toned muscles does not a lover make

chug another beer, watch some porn

then expect me to perform

get out of my way so I can see

my way through to what it's really all about

maybe 2.5 kids, a dog and that picket fence

aren't looking half bad in the rear view mirror

Careful I had a bowl of b***h for breakfast

and that's Ms B***h to you. 

Author's Note

Wrote this after a discussion with a friend of mine about her frustrations.

Reviews

[Clockwork]

The last stanza comes with a big dash of sass and I like it. I think you show us how warped a Man's expectation for affection and sex can be. You nailed a lot of us at our worst when we can weigh a good woman down.

Favorite lines:

my way through to what it's really all about
maybe 2.5 kids, a dog and that picket fence
aren't looking half bad in the rear view mirror

That was great social commentary. It is well crafted and well put together.

[Frieda P]

Thanks C, was hoping it'd pack a punch. The last words, 'Ms b***h to you' are actually her own words, so yep she was hopping mad. Glad you enjoyed reading it.

[Clockwork]

Yes, I would say that it does. I like how you tied that in.

[Frieda P]

haha, well she's always saying she's at a loss for words but I always get an earful! Thought I'd give her a voice. She's gonna probably kill me when she reads it! lol

[Tarry Franck]

WooHoo You go :) Loved it!!

[Baby Ricochet]

Open up a can of whup a*s on these motha f****s!

[s y e]

Lol this was good! Nice ending. Hehe.

[quinfinn]

what kind of man watches porn while drinking in front of his woman? and who peed in your friend's cornflakes? wow, i think i'll glance back in that mirror with you to see if i missed anything....i only ever use the b***h word if a woman truly deserves the label, guess it's on me to write one about the dreaded "c" word....when i'm sure no women are nearby enough to kick my a*s!

[MOON]

Killer punch line , that's what you get when you choose brawn over brains!

[Frieda P]

Yep, you know the grass is always greener and all that jazz ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Yeah, right? Like maybe she shouldn't have left that nice cozy house in the suburbs with a man who takes care of her for some hot young stud whose only real quality lies between his thighs ;-) (The real reason kimmer is still behind her picket fence, by the way) ;-) This made me grin, Frieda. Good stuff. A bowl of b***h for breakfast?? Who thinks like that??? :-D

[Frieda P]

Like you didn't eat that this morning! haha funny ms queen of sarcasm! Always look forward to reading your reviews, as your poetry, you never disappoint! ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Four out of five doctors recommend a daily diet of B***h Bites to start the day ;-) Still digesting them, along with my daily recommended allowance of Sarcastic Squares. Oh. And, of course, men's self-esteem and sense of worth. All in my belly ;-)

[Frieda P]

LMFAO no wonder you're so freakin healthy looking!!

[KAOlmsted]

;-)

[Frieda P]

I think I need a side of that last stuff you mentioned, feeling a little woozy today... ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

Go get 'em, girl...

[Rob Santana]

Haha I like "aren't looking half bad in the rear view mirror " looking at him kicking rocks and pounding sand. Well penned.

[Frieda P]

haha thanks! ;-)

[Seanh12]

Cool i like this. Very nicely written.

[Frieda P]

thanks for reading me.

[Seanh12]

its ok

[That_Girl]

Uhmm probably just me, but, how do you have two and a half kids? Step kids? or....?

This is good, sassy and sarcastic but serious as well. Fun read.

[Frieda P]

ha good question Avy...those are the statistics, I don't take credit for those...I think it's just an average...unless you give birth to a little person perhaps ;-P

[That_Girl]

That's really weird lol xD Oooh maybe! Hmmm

[Frieda P]

hahaha ;-) would have been worse if it were 1/2 a dog :-P

[That_Girl]

Uhh hmmm.... lol yeah, you're right. xD

[Frieda P]

lmao...you had to think about that!

[That_Girl]

Thinking about how to cut a dog in half is all lol

[Frieda P]

eww I just threw up in my mouth Avy!

[That_Girl]

Sorry but it's true... I suppose if they no tail (cropped maybe..?) and no legs, it would be close to half.... hmm

[Frieda P]

OMG you're a sick broad hon! I didn't bring you up that way :-)

[That_Girl]

I'M JUST THINKING! I'm not about to go out and chop up some poor dog lol jeeeeeez. :p I'm fine, really...

[Frieda P]

LMFAO...I don't even know where your brains is at the moment...it's like that scary fun house at Halloween, open the door and pee yourself! lol

[Destinyxi]

Its not literally 2.5 kids. thats the average. meaning people are likely to have 2-3 kids, average of that is 2.5. Make sense? XD

[Frieda P]

lol that's what I said, Avy decided to cut up the dog instead!!

[Destinyxi]

Doesnt surprise me :p

[Frieda P]

Bhahahaha, you know her well obviously ;-)

[Destinyxi]

Haha. yeah i tend to be up her a*s just as much as shes up mine xD

[Frieda P]

Good to know, since she adopted me as her mother, I need to know she hangs out with! ha ;-)

[That_Girl]

It's best to not know who I associate with. ;)

[Frieda P]

Which one is the 'bad' influence here, mama needs to know ;-)

[Frieda P]

My money is on Lucy, erhum.

[That_Girl]

Between Kels and I? Well she did say my bitchiness was wearing off on her so..... ;)

[Destinyxi]

LOL and it DID! I was being bitchy for stupid a*s reasons!

[That_Girl]

Oh so now I'm bitchy for stupid a*s reasons?! Tsk tsk. ;)

[Frieda P]

Now girls.............

[Destinyxi]

Haha. shush baby girl

[That_Girl]

Make me. ;p

[Frieda P]

Good thread for this B***h! lol ;-)

[That_Girl]

lol ;p

[Destinyxi]

You know i know several ways how ;)

[That_Girl]

Running me over with your car is NOT a way. ;)

[Destinyxi]

I had something else in mind dearie

[Frieda P]

Do I have to separate you two?! :P

[That_Girl]

Haha nooooo. Please don't separate us mama F... pleeeease. ;)

[Frieda P]

haha, then behave yourself Lucy!!

[That_Girl]

Kelsia baby, c'mere, Frieda's being all adult like. Let's play without her. ;)

[Destinyxi]

lol you just made me shake my head xD

[Frieda P]

hahah, someone has to be the adult around here, we'll take turns, I can be off the wall tomorrow! ;-P

[AYVID N]

'bowl of b***h for breakfast' - that's very attractively worded Frieda!
As for the retarded man lover, if he is as real as you have made him seem in this gr8 poem....his arse deserves to be axed! (I too blocked the bu**g*r for the nth time!)
She should really consider that picket fence!

[Frieda P]

Yes, unfortunately he exists!! He's yummy as pie to look at and he knows it, the body of Adonis and the brain of old rain water...stagnant!

[AYVID N]

And I thought he existed only in India! ;)

[Frieda P]

LMAO, I think it might be a universal thing! Maybe, even they exist on Mars, who know? ;-)

[AYVID N]

:)))) with red-green asses! Worth writing a piece on! LMFAO

[Frieda P]

hahahahahah omg you made me spit my coffee out!

[AYVID N]

that was my intention ;)

[Frieda P]

Well done then! :-P