Fast Track

On the fast track of love to nowhere

my torn heart still weaves cobwebs

my eyes see only the soot and ashes

the past a blur of lies and deception

I was once light over moonbeams

now these shadows is where I dwell

your twisted game of hide and seek

the friend I thought was in my corner

turns out it was all a sickening farce

Knock on the door of crystal sanity

turns lucidity into regrets and lunacy

once wished upon a star 'for eternity'

forever after just a heart's foolish hope

Transparencies of a life's film track

rewind torments each waking moment

replaying over the sins and transgressions

instant replay of a true love demolished

The scars remain like a branded stain

trust run over like a runaway train

is there a fate worse than betrayal?

closure would be of your casket

                                               

 

Reviews

[David Scott]

Strong write Frieda.
Last stanza is most telling and maybe even incriminating.
All one can do is rise above, step over, go around, let it pass, etc...
Give up a little and gain so much more. Why cry that you lost your poisoned fruit. Look for a meal that will nourish you now and let the "dead" bury the "dead".
Loved the write and I need to self talk as well. Ha

[Frieda P]

I didn't kill him, I promise. Not yet, anyway. ;-)

[C.C. Marx]

Powerful and strong, like any good woman should be after a betrayal. Just forget him, if he had the nerve to betray you he aint worth it in the first place. I think what hurts more is realizing they aren't you thought they were and who you loved afterall

[Frieda P]

So so true, afterwards you wanna kick yourself in the a*s. Thanks C. C.

[C.C. Marx]

My pleasure although kicking his a*s might make you feel better :PP

[Frieda P]

hahaha that too!! ;-)

[Aidz]

nicely scribed.... and some tasty lines

[Frieda P]

nom nom hope you enjoyed that tasty treat

[s y e]

This is a very powerful message and a beautiful poem. I also think that everyone has been betrayed at one point in there lives.

Well done my dear.

[Frieda P]

Not you, you're smarter than the average bear, right? ;-)

[s y e]

Ive been betrayed many times. Im stupid that way. ;-)

[Frieda P]

let me at em!

[s y e]

You want me to tell you?

[Frieda P]

Sure, I'll kick their butt for messing with frootloops!

[s y e]

Ok, well theres my friends- backstabbing, lying and spreading rumours. Then theres my ex....

[Frieda P]

I'd hardly call them your 'friends' then....I'm gonna need an army it seems.

[s y e]

Nah, theyre not anymore. I gave up on them after something that happened couple weeks ago. Haha, nah you dont. Im ok....

[KeeD]

I took them all out with my kung fu hustle.

[s y e]

Whaaat? Took who out?

[KeeD]

all them punk a*s friends and that ex who messed with our noodle. The nerve on these kids!!! don't worry we got your back. Now quickly power up the shuttle we gotta go fix a clogged toilet on Jupiter. You know our cover job "wink, wink"

[Frieda P]

There's a bunch of insane people on my thread! wHahahAHA....

[s y e]

Ah, them. Howd you find out bout that? Are you nosying in on our peeps convos? Cheeky monkey. Awk, everyone gets there heart broken. Nothing new there eh? Ok. 'To Infinity And Beyond!' LOL

[s y e]

Noodle loves Frieda... hehe

[Frieda P]

:D Frieda slurps noodles up!

[s y e]

Ewwwwwwwwie. DONT slurp me! Slurp is for men! Your a beautiful laaaady.....

[KeeD]

Frieda slurps noodles.. bahahahaha

[s y e]

Ugh! You guys are cruel to Noodle. *walks away*

[quinfinn]

man, i hate when the mind hits rewind on those old stories that broke me, hurt me , damaged me and gave me cause to doubt the voracity of a woman's sincerity! elusions to foolish hopes, love demolished and runaway trains...awesome. and the casket bit at the close....perfection! *hugs*

[Frieda P]

hahaha, I liked that end part the best myself!

[quinfinn]

ditto!

[An owl on the moon]

A brilliant reflection on something so very painfully profound... I've been on that train... felt that numbness... ran my fingers over those scars... You take us so deep into betrayal and the agony of love gone mad.

[Coyote Poetry]

"The scars remain like a branded stain
trust run over like a runaway train
is there a fate worse than betrayal?"
Some wounds need to leave us with protection not to repeat again. A powerful poem with honest and direct emotion. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Frieda P]

Thanks for your excellent review, glad you like it Coyote.

[Lover Of Words]

This is just beautiful you have a wonderful way with words love this whole poem just outstanding!

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Kelsey :-)

[Lover Of Words]

Your welcome :)

[Ayvid N]

Hi Frieda!
'On the fast track of love to nowhere' - the first line is the most profound and powerful and speaks volumes for itself.
The betrayal is again very superbly reinforced by
"The scars remain like a branded stain
trust run over like a runaway train"
...My compliments on another gr8 write!
Love & regards, Divya

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Divya...we bounce back tho, don't we? xo

[KAOlmsted]

Betrayal always brings out the blood lust in us, yeah? There is really no other crime that can be perpetrated against us that makes us want the punishment to be corporal; the revenge to be slow and painful and ultimately lethal...Good job with this. I am properly seething.

[Frieda P]

Thanks kimmer, co-seething much appreciated. ;-)

[KAOlmsted]

;-)