Fast Track

On the fast track of love to nowhere

my torn heart still weaves cobwebs

my eyes see only the soot and ashes

the past a blur of lies and deception

I was once light over moonbeams

now these shadows is where I dwell

your twisted game of hide and seek

the friend I thought was in my corner

turns out it was all a sickening farce

Knock on the door of crystal sanity

turns lucidity into regrets and lunacy

once wished upon a star 'for eternity'

forever after just a heart's foolish hope

Transparencies of a life's film track

rewind torments each waking moment

replaying over the sins and transgressions

instant replay of a true love demolished

The scars remain like a branded stain

trust run over like a runaway train

is there a fate worse than betrayal?

closure would be of your casket

                                               

 

Reviews

[David Scott]

Strong write Frieda.
Last stanza is most telling and maybe even incriminating.
All one can do is rise above, step over, go around, let it pass, etc...
Give up a little and gain so much more. Why cry that you lost your poisoned fruit. Look for a meal that will nourish you now and let the "dead" bury the "dead".
Loved the write and I need to self talk as well. Ha

[Frieda P]

I didn't kill him, I promise. Not yet, anyway. ;-)

[Mark Anthony Games (Hum..]

Review for Change the World Comp.

So much genuine emotion in this work, also a sense of bitterness. I have had a fair few examples of love and true love in my life so I can understand these words and their slight bitterness completely.

I did grow to learn that love is not a deed of ownership and that people change, we should not restrict them for our own desire to be loved. Betrayal is a route taken by a soul that we do not agree with or consent. It is their soul though and we can not blame them for their faults and weakness. We gave them our our love and trust they did not ask for it and they are not commodities that we can easily pass around, store or trade. This does not mean though that we are unjustified in our suffering the associated emotions and it is their responsibility to hear and acknowledge them. If a soul we love seeks an experience to help it understand, relate or grow then we do not have the right to restrict them, do we honesty love a soul if we seek to restrict it. If the love and connection were so true than the soul may not have to seek experiences to clarify. It is a very interesting subject, I have been 'cheated on' and let down many times and despite the spiritual notion is bloody hurts and I want them to hurt too. So I guess spirituality has a lot to answer for in its self, ha ha.

Fantastic write, well done

[khalid]

you are an expert in love affairs..

[InsanityWriter]

Very nice job. :) I really enjoyed reading! ^_^

[luviva]

ok..
i see the real you know!!
you know, trust is such a strong word but a misleading word
its hard to gain someone's trust but when you do, you feel epic my friend.
the time when it goes all muddy is when it was fake trust you knw.. that time when you realise tht actually that friend of your's you shared secrets with was not a friend, never kept any of them but they all leaked into the atmosphere?
the betrayal is so hard to get over...
real good and emotion packed!
loved it and as lways... continue writing.

[Baby Ricochet]

Heavy. Great job Frieda

[Frieda P]

thanks Baby, it was pretty heavy tbh

[KeeD]

"The scars remain like a branded stain
trust run over like a runaway train
is there a fate worse than betrayal?
closure would be of your casket"
The idea behind the poem was planted very well all through this piece, like a locomotive it steamed my insides up and made me restless. The way your poems emit emotions is incredible, strong powerful write and we've all been at this place, somehow we just reach destination nowhere.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very nice piece and well written. Disappointment and yet longing.

[Frieda P]

Thanks John

[Clockwork]

And I remember you saying that you weren't good with stanzas. Well, I think that the ideas flow here and you have a good rhythm in this piece. Then you some pretty awesome words like "farce" that help you drive your point how. This is a very universal tale of betrayal and what happens when love is derailed.

[icelandicblue]

I really like the way that you write. Your imagery is really strong and the emotion in your poem is palpable. This was a pleasure to read.

[Frieda P]

Well, I really like your review, so kind, thanks!

[Emerald Seas]

Wow, this is a dark one, Frieda. Powerful, strong position but in a heavy dark place. I understand the pain expressed, however, personally I would refuse to live within the pain and find a way up and over. There is a time to mourn, but don't let it linger...
Wonderfully expressive.

[Frieda P]

Was a dark time, back to back with a different situation, I'm surprised myself I can write about it..thanks so much Sera