The Shame of IT

The aftermath of sexual abuse.

We take on the blame, we inherit the shame
wallowing in the aftermath of an apocalypse
proportions to take down the most resilient warrior
we fight to the death our right to a voice
trust is crushed beyond reparation
truth is heard in the distance by some
stark realities knock in darkness and light
sleep filled with the incoherent disgraces
seeped into the soul's consciousness'
assaulting all reason and sanity
sanctioned for self destruction
the shame that follows engulfs 
innocence admonishes all evil 
still stuck in the turmoil of self hatred
unjustly bestowed on the naive guiltless 
shame's name branded on the psyche
slammed by the brick wall of inertia
sabotaged lives go astray and unfold
the real shame of it all, its not our onus 
yet, life no longer flows naturally..............

Author's Note

Sexual abuse leaves behind not only scars but guilt and shame, feelings of disgrace, dishonor, and being de-valued, especially in children. Often a person will see themselves as flawed and take on much of the blame and feelings of self doubt. Not to mention the debilitating reactions after disclosure of disbelief and total rejection of the truth.

"Over 90% of sexual offenders are someone the child knows and trusts – a parent or other relative."

Reviews

[John Stussy]

Grammatically, in this line, distant ought to be switched to distance.
"truth is heard in the distant by some"

As far as the content and message go, this was brilliant and potent. A certain section of lines really stood out to me, I re-read them several times just because they caught my eye so. "the shame that follows engulfs / innocence admonishes all evil / still stuck in the turmoil of self hatred / unjustly bestowed on the naive guiltless" I felt that these lines in particular caught the ugliest part of the abuse that's the subject for this piece. That someone would inflict the mental torture upon any human being in a position of the victim that they are the one at fault is horrid, monstrous really. I think the death penalty is too kind for one who inflicts such trauma, and I've been known to be a big fan of the dp. My deepest and most sincere condolences go out to anyone who has suffered in such a way.

[Frieda P]

Thanks John, very sweet and touching review. I'll fix that typo.

[John Stussy]

No problem, thank you for sharing your words Frieda.

[CS]

This is not an easy subject to write about. It is not an easy subject to read about. But, to survivors, it is something that needs to be said and heard. Thank you for sharing this, Frieda. The trauma is something that can only be understood by those who have lived it. Thank you for shedding some light on the complicated feelings that go with it so it can be better understood.

[Frieda P]

Thank you for your support Courtney, I'm not sure people will ever understand the aftermath of such abuse unless they've lived it as you've stated. I'd like for people to be less apathetic and not turn a blind eye when they see this kind of horror happen.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

Hi there, I think that this is a dilligent and cognitive account which in a sense serves distinguish between the experience of sexual abuse, and the long term consequences. Also, demonstrating your abilities to reflect upon your memories without becoming embroiled in the harrowing details of the event(s) of abuse, but rather the extent of the trauma you have faced, thanks for sharing.

[Renée]

Your a light now Frieda..Thank you for allowing your voice to be heard for those who can't..

[Frieda P]

Thanks so much Renee, it took me a really long time to be able to even voice it in my own head.

[Renée]

I understand... you found her voice...and that " little girl" is in your safe care now.. hold her sweetly... ( :

[Frieda P]

:-)

[LA Lorena]

This certainly captures the guilt, blame and shame felt by the abused. Nicely penned my friend.

[Frieda P]

Thanks LA, much appreciated my friend.

[s y e]

Oh my goodness, I couldn't imagine this at all! You hear the stories all the time on the news and its true, it is always the someone close to the family. It's terrible! I can't believe people can be so sick :'( it's just... sickening.

This captures all the pain and emotion well. Well done my dear!

[Frieda P]

I agree with you wholeheartedly, and those are only the one's that report. Thanks for reading, I know it's a sensitive subject matter.

[s y e]

I know, some aren't even reported :( I can't imagine or wish anything like that on anyone its just terrible and heartbreaking. Your welcome!

[fiery-san]

Sexual abuse, especially from someone so trusted is traumatizing... in terms of children, some may not even realize that what was being done to them is wrong only when everything becomes clear that the pain and shames to manifest... It is even more painful when the fact they were abused becomes a stigma in society as if they asked for such things. This piece captures that pain and shame well.

[Frieda P]

Most times the child thinks it's normal behavior, not knowing anything else, which makes it even harder to deal with later in life. Thanks so much!