I Breathe Grief

I breathe grief, I snort it like a coke addict

it lingers in the subliminal, it screams in the subconscious

days like these, are 'that kind of crazy'

that ugsome gut wrenching tug of diesel engines

the flashing recollection of clarity's vengeance

vehemently churning up inferno's angst and fury

racing through the mind stained black

clueless unedited timing of remembrances

smacking up the back of head and mind

never letting solace or sleep too near

in the convoluted recesses nothing lies dormant

screeching halt of life and no one see's the truth

hanging in the balance an unsolved resolution

contention captured and kept jailed for next edition

Author's Note

It seems the days that should be the best, ultimately end up being nothing more than a constant, nagging reminder of what once was and the pain and guilt behind it.

Reviews

[DrD]

I think your writing is largely therapeutic when dealing with these themes and I can only respect that. As always, you capture the biproducts of abuse and present them to the point that we almost feel them with you. I hope you can reach the point that your days are constant with happiness and with the recognition of who you are now. I appreciate your poetic skill but I appreciate you even more as a person.

[Frieda P]

You hold a special place in my heart doc, thank you so much.

[InsanityWriter]

Wonderful poem. :) You captured dark feelings very well. ^_^

[Frieda P]

Thank you kindly Insanity. x

[fiery-san]

Striking and dark as always... as much as we want to focus more on the brighter sides of life we really can't avoid remembering all the shadows that haunted us and haunts us still... I still hope that despite all the hardship and pain you'll get through it and live life freely and happily. ^_^

[Frieda P]

Trying fiery, this is a bad time of year for that...thanks for reading. :)

[John Stussy]

It seems to me that I'm not the only one who has bad memories that have replaced the good that haunt me this time of year. The memories instilled by the holiday season stick with us very strongly. Those that are gone are missed even more when it's that time the family should be gathered together. Your poem is heartbreaking, and, to me, it's very appropriate for the contemplations that plague my mind during this time of year. Great work Frieda.

[Frieda P]

Thanks John, it doesn't surprise me that many people feel that sadness and emptiness tug at their heart this time of year, I'm sorry you're one of them...

[LA Lorena]

the holidays are traditionally the hardest days for the survivors and the survivors guilt they feel. depression and suicide rates skyrocket at this time of year.

I sat outside last night for a few minutes, and could hear my neighbors singing carols around the tree, and it filled me with such melancholy. Why? I can't say. I have never experienced Christmas in that way, ever. Perhaps the lack of what I have is only amplified when I compare to what others have? food for thought I guess.

I am sorry you are feeling down. I wish you could smell the cookies baking, or the smell of fresh snow and pine tree, could breathe anything but grief.

[Frieda P]

The best of life sometimes reminds us of the worst times too, I'll attest to that. Thanks LA, much appreciated. x

[s y e]

Wow. This is amazing.
This poem is expressing just how much grief and pain you feel.
Very touching xox

[Frieda P]

Thanks my noodle pal xo

[s y e]

Anytime love xox

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Happy Christmas dear Frieda! Here I sit alone but not in pain as you are. This is another poem that expresses in no uncertain terms the depth of the grief you feel. Got some stuff to do but lets look at a collaboration a bit later?

[Frieda P]

thanks John, Merry Christmas to you too dear friend. Hope I can think straight, I'm trying! The pressure....