First Drop

Small bitter apple,

Off her tree too soon

Sour mealy flavor,

Sweetless from her womb

Tough virgin skin,

But easy to bite through

The fundamental question

Is why would you want to?

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Oh, I dunno, Sylvia!
Perhaps, one should not judge an apple by its skin,
there might be golden treasures hidden deep within.

Quite catchy and jaunty, poignantly sad, well stroked line-breaks, and emotion-filled to the brim with self-flagellation … albeit, I wonder how/if deserved.

Obviously, from your displayed skill, this is not your first poetic rodeo, and though your lines are unmetered, they maintain a nice flow, and this is not easy.

In keeping your tempo, the final line feels abrupt.
Consider:
"The fundamental question
Is why you would want to"

Whatever; I'm, obviously, smitten and thrilled to read this excellent offering.
Thank you, Sylvia -- brighter days ahead … big hugs! ⁓ Richard : )

[Sylvia]

Thank you for your kind words!

I appreciate the constructive criticism as well, I definitely struggled with the last line and I can see how your edit melds with the rhythm a little better.

[Richard🖌]

It's an honor, Sylvia … thank you for the privilege. : )

[Richard🖌]

Actually:
"The fundamental question
Is why would you want to?"

[Sylvia]

Yes, that's exactly it! There's the rhythm I was going for.

Thanks again!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i see someone who just doesn't want to give in to that first time...and when she finally does...who wants to be the first...there is something about being the first or being asked to be...that can make the other person fear to tread, fear to bite into that apple.
the wisdom of knowing, i guess.
i love this write...short and sweet even with the (bitter apple) reference.
you allow us to read between the lines.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice twist of words led to the proper ending. The description strong and direct. Thank you Sylvia for sharing the excellent poetry. I like how you use the language.
Coyote

[Lyn Anderson]

What a special little gem. Lovely rhythm. I might consider "you would want to" to lengthen out the last line, but maybe there are reasons you'd want it that way ...
For me, this brings to mind certain harsh things I'd rather not think, but are an unfortunate reality among human kind

[Dark_Duckling]

I'm not sure if this was the intention but...
this poem is giving me Adam and Eve vibes.
When you want to do something, you know you probably shouldn't do but at the same time, it would be so easy to do it.
When that moment comes, it's a question of " what is stopping me from doing this if it is so easy to do? "

I like this poem, it flows of the tongue easily and it displays vivid imagery in the reader's mind.

[Gee]

Not a clue as to the meaning but like the fact if fell from the tongue so smoothly

[cloudedorange]

I really enjoyed this. Short but incredibly powerful.

[Serendipity Planet]

your words are beautiful
It's great

[Jade]

I enjoyed this write, To the point and creative really