Musings on Fireplaces and California�s Greatness

Wonderful news for concerned breathers everywhere!  California has once again taken the forefront in the battle for cleaner lungs.  Folks can rest easier knowing that big government intervention is once more trying to make the world a better, safer place for us all!  We can only hope for success in this, and that it will spread from the fine state of California outward.  So what is the great news?  The San Francisco Bay Area smog regulators are proposing a ban on all wood burning during all winter "Spare the Air" nights. Yep, that's right.  It will keep those nasty polluters from warming their houses with that nasty wood. 

  It seems that "growing medical research" shows that soot causes more health problems than it had been believed to in the past.  Allegedly, high levels of soot can cause asthma attacks, heart problems, and respiratory ailments.  Sort of like breathing any of the air in California, but I digress.  I'm not entirely sure what level constitutes a "high" level of soot, but I'm sure that the fine regulators there are on it.  Jack Broadbent, executive officer of the air district, had the following to say.  "We understand a crackling fire is a long held tradition of American family life, but traditions need to be changed when there is information showing that our health and our neighbor's health are impacted."  So, yeah.  There you have it.

  Enforcement would be...interesting.  Taking a page from the U.S.S.R.'s handbook, neighbors would be encouraged to turn in neighbors.  Always good for community relations.  Among those who would be happy to do their part are the Jensens, who live in the Bay Area.  Kathy Voss-Jensen said this in relation to their neighbor who uses a fireplace most every winter day despite their requests not to use it.  "It's very noxious and irritating.  We have to keep our windows closed tight for several hours a day.  And we have to keep them closed all night."  That' s right.  They have to keep their windows closed some during the winter, because their inconsiderate neighbor wants to...ummm... warm his house!  That b*****d!

  It has been suggested by some that natural gas fires are much cleaner.  Trouble being that we will one day run out of gas.  But hey, no biggie.  We aren't out yet.  Fortunately Californians are not in favor of renewable energy sources and the like.  I'm sure that no small few favor just heating with electricity.  That would seem to be the best option.  Can't run out of that.  They make it down at the factory.

  Anyway, that's it.  Just thought I'd spread the good news.  Here's to Californication!  Damn, Xander, have a room for me?  At least the folks there are open with the fact that they are socialists...

 

Quotes and info taken from an article by Paul Rogers printed in the San Jose Mercury News.  The tone, however, was all me :D