Us

Us

A Poem by Freeman

Time has never a time 
feelings have not a feeling
 hands have a warmth 
 warmth to the touch
 feeling I need , I need so much

Twisted my heart 
 why cant I see
hurt is nothing 
unless you can feel
time is worthless, as the end it draws
as then is now 
eternally yours

© 2010 Freeman


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Hello Freeman - as this is your second poem I'm criting - I can see I'm going to like your work a lot. Again I mention that you would do well to punctuate your work. If you like to keep that aspect a little less formal - try using Capitals at the begining of certain sentences. Intersperse them for more effect. Nice concepts - like where you're going from with some of this stuff!
Keep it up!
PP

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow I love this way I could write it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


It's very short, and there could be more added. But when it's so direct, more length would be nice, but it's not quite needed.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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130 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on October 13, 2010
Last Updated on October 14, 2010

Author

Freeman
Freeman

United Kingdom



About
Hi I am new to writing poetry, Although I have been writing songs and it would seem that they go hand in hand. I have set myself a task to write something new everyday whether it good or bad,So take .. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Freeman


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A Poem by Freeman


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A Poem by Freeman