in which a pitiful individul hates his job

in which a pitiful individul hates his job

A Poem by freelancejouster

 

 

 

 

 

dry hands tap black keys for the fifty-sixth day in a row,

editing word by word, space by space, pixel by pixel,

for the perfection that needs be acheived.

 

gasp.  hope.  scan.  smile.  split-second of self-indulcence.  print.

 

a shuffle of feet to the printing paper,

held tightly so the edges wrinkle,

embarrassed, clammy hands wipe sweat on creased polyester,

sheepish smile.

 

paper handed in like it's the cure to cancer,

the obligatory scanning ends with a snobbish snort,

the declining stamp whacked on with a splat,

handed back to the pitiful individual

who's finding it hard to work to the constant tune of

"whack.  whack.  whack."

 

 

 

 

 

© 2012 freelancejouster


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Featured Review

There's a distraction here, or maybe a detachment... these are two of what I would call "anchor" sentences:

embarrassed, clammy hands wipe sweat on creased polyester

who's finding it hard to work to the constant tune of
"whack. whack. whack."

I think this piece needs a third "anchor sentence in the beginning somewhere. Maybe it's in the title...

This is personal and specific and private, a nice look inside with a window outside. Have you tried including more or condensing it to less as a comparative exercise? I once took a 300 word piece, something I thought was pure essence and obviously short and was more or less forced to write it into a hundred words.... impossible I thought, pure butchery.... but I did, and discovered none of the important stuff was missing, I was surprised. Then I carefully added back in only the essentials of what I took out and it turned out to be a stronger piece. When time and mood is willing, it's always interesting to do exercises like that.





Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy...the repetition of the everyday, mundane...no pun intended, but this is a great job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have had many days like this! I am glad someone could articulate my frustration so aptly. I love your no nonsense writing style. Great read. Thanks for sharing!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The editor is picky isn't he. Nice job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


There's a distraction here, or maybe a detachment... these are two of what I would call "anchor" sentences:

embarrassed, clammy hands wipe sweat on creased polyester

who's finding it hard to work to the constant tune of
"whack. whack. whack."

I think this piece needs a third "anchor sentence in the beginning somewhere. Maybe it's in the title...

This is personal and specific and private, a nice look inside with a window outside. Have you tried including more or condensing it to less as a comparative exercise? I once took a 300 word piece, something I thought was pure essence and obviously short and was more or less forced to write it into a hundred words.... impossible I thought, pure butchery.... but I did, and discovered none of the important stuff was missing, I was surprised. Then I carefully added back in only the essentials of what I took out and it turned out to be a stronger piece. When time and mood is willing, it's always interesting to do exercises like that.





Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

great depiction of the experience of this individual; a vivid scene in a typical workday. nice piece.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I've had days just like this.
Scanning, typing, printing, and way too much Whack! Whack! Whack!
LOL!

I know how he feels.
Thankful I work on boats now.

Great piece.
T

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The segregated wording leaves the reader appauled and delighted at the same time

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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467 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 28, 2012
Last Updated on April 14, 2012
Tags: work, thoughts, job, new job, rejection

Author

freelancejouster
freelancejouster

WI



About
i'm a muppet with his secrets revealed. i'm a lost teenager. i'm a rugged adventurer. I'm a bumbling novice. i'm an awkward intellectual. i'm a tear-stained lover. i'm a starving artist. i'm an.. more..

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