if paintings could talk

if paintings could talk

A Poem by freelancejouster

two of nine half-completed job applications in a stack
on a battered yellow folder with faded, undistinguished words upon it,
coffee stained table with cracks and sharpie all across the top,
adding character and marring nothing in the room
save the thick bookshelf  in the corner.

yellowed, old, new, priceless, and worthless contained
within one entity,
all loved and read as equals in the past few years,
cherished and collected, just south of obsessed upon,
and the clatter of typed keys washes over everything
as she struggles with herself to write something to stand against them.

© 2011 freelancejouster


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Featured Review

There is beautiful imagery within this piece, imagery that drives home a deep sense of humanity. The first stanza shows us humility, while the second, goes much deeper with the point, and ends with a powerful statement of self-awareness. I read it as the fine balance many of us struggle with over acceptance of all of ourselves pitted against another deep drive, to be recognized by others for strengths.

I’m not so sure about the title. On one hand, I see it as a metaphor for the veneer that others perceive in us, read into us at a glance, as opposed to the deeper discovery that is there to be made from listening to our words. I’m not sure that this is what you intended, but if is, then I would say that the title “works”. My only other comment here is the used of “just south of”, which comes off perhaps as a bit too flippant, given the seriousness of the topic you are addressing.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

great imagery that fills the senses, a human element of acknowledgement.

Posted 12 Years Ago


There is beautiful imagery within this piece, imagery that drives home a deep sense of humanity. The first stanza shows us humility, while the second, goes much deeper with the point, and ends with a powerful statement of self-awareness. I read it as the fine balance many of us struggle with over acceptance of all of ourselves pitted against another deep drive, to be recognized by others for strengths.

I’m not so sure about the title. On one hand, I see it as a metaphor for the veneer that others perceive in us, read into us at a glance, as opposed to the deeper discovery that is there to be made from listening to our words. I’m not sure that this is what you intended, but if is, then I would say that the title “works”. My only other comment here is the used of “just south of”, which comes off perhaps as a bit too flippant, given the seriousness of the topic you are addressing.


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nicely written, your descriptions were excellent :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


original, vivid and excellent

Posted 12 Years Ago


I love the descriptions..they bring in flowing images ! And the title is also so apt...great job :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a real cracker,love the way you open the poem with the table/job image,so visual it could almost be a photo and then the way you move into the second verse to continue the story with excellent lyrical exposition.A really, really good work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was very nicely written, your descriptions were so powerful and the way you ended this leaves the reader with something to ponder. Very nicely written.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ur poem is really nice write, do have a look to mine "QUEST OF LIFE"-
" it is about how one neglects his life ,pondering about this precious gift of nature unnecessarily ".

Posted 13 Years Ago



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383 Views
9 Reviews
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Added on August 11, 2011
Last Updated on September 8, 2011
Tags: life, thoughts, real, real life, writing, poetry, me, job, goal

Author

freelancejouster
freelancejouster

WI



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i'm a muppet with his secrets revealed. i'm a lost teenager. i'm a rugged adventurer. I'm a bumbling novice. i'm an awkward intellectual. i'm a tear-stained lover. i'm a starving artist. i'm an.. more..

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