waldosia

waldosia

A Chapter by freelancejouster








and that sleek little car always reminds me of you,
black and shining and smooth,
though yours is older now.

broken, and sold to some yard,
where they wrecked it more,
than you could have ever hoped to.


and i'll see a flutter of hair,
the way yours used to do,
along the river,
when you would kick my little butt
at skipping rocks

until i'd push you in,
and you'd pull me with you.

but that was countless summers ago.


the last time i saw your face was...

oh, i suppose it's been about a year now,
powdery makeup
doing its best
to give you the glow of the living
while your soul had drifted off

to somewhere else.

and everything reminds me of you.


you're not gone, though,
you can't possibly be,
because i still see you everywhere.










© 2011 freelancejouster


Author's Note

freelancejouster
waldosia: a condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, which is your brain’s way of checking to see whether they’re still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

This is so good but so sad. It feels hollow, detached, yet just a hopeful at the end. The lines "powdery makeup / doing its best / to give you the glow of the living / while your soul had drifted off" really touched me. The anniversary of my uncle's death is fast approaching, and though I was only a child when he died, I remember how in his casket he looked nothing like himself. You wonderfully express the sensation that the soul is no longer in the body, and likewise that even the littlest things can spark a reminder of someone who's gone on. Great work.

Posted 11 Years Ago


most of the time in a crowd you'll see someone from a certain angle that you mistake for someone you knew in the past. if you can't get them out of your mind you look for these reminders everywhere you go that trigger the memory, like the hair, or scent, or body type. you heart flutters for just a second then you realize maybe even thankfully that it wasn't them. great poem. great word.

Posted 12 Years Ago


In interesting exercise, is it chronological as well as alphabetical? Doesn't have to be, just asking. Doing moment impressions prompted by definitions, random, yet created from a single mind, abstract, yet personal, of interest, yet whimsical. All elements essential for poetic expression. Also a good way to develop "showing not telling."


Posted 12 Years Ago


This is brilliant, I can totally relate to looking for the ones we love in the crowd, knowing that they aren't really there. It really evokes some strong memories for me. I especially love your starting line, it is like we are dropped in on someone else's memory, suddenly, and we have this object that seems familiar, yet personal.

Posted 12 Years Ago


I will forever associate this word with this poem. I love it!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

beautiful

Posted 13 Years Ago


wow... amazing wordcrafting... beautiful, thoughtful, evocative AND informative

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1808 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 20, 2011
Last Updated on April 4, 2011
Tags: life, sad, thoughts, definition, funeral, death


Author

freelancejouster
freelancejouster

WI



About
i'm a muppet with his secrets revealed. i'm a lost teenager. i'm a rugged adventurer. I'm a bumbling novice. i'm an awkward intellectual. i'm a tear-stained lover. i'm a starving artist. i'm an.. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..