snake and sleuth smoothie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

clouded eyes can pass no judgement

just as forked tongues can speak no truth.

the two have been tangled up for years, you see,

those with no questions mix well with those uncouth.

 

those with clouded eyes

cannot see past anything,

no wall or facade or door.

for everything is as it seems,

they know what they want

and nothing more.

 

and those of forked tongue

can masterfully build

a lie without an equal,

spin their stories, weave their webs,

they know that any resistance

will be feeble.

 

for what lie is it

that cannot pass

beyond my clouded eyes?

i'll believe anything

including, i might add,

your well-spun, hasty lies.

 

because clouded eyes can pass no judgement,

just as forked tongues can speak no truth,

we're quite the pair, you and i,

a snake and a love-blinded sleuth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

er. honest opinions here, please. i'm awful at rhyming :/

Reviews

[Quinn Blackburn]

Excellent work! Great flow and word choices, the title drew me in for a closer look... and the work makes the title clear. Again, I would suggest losing the unnecessary "ands" beginning the 5th and 11th lines. I particularly enjoyed this bit, "those with clouded eyes cannot see past anything, no wall or facade or door. for everything is as it seems, they know what they want and nothing more."


So very true! The very first line of this work is perfect too, it really grabbed my attention. I love the image of the snake and the love-blinded slueth, it works well and conveys a lot. I've kicked myself for my self-imposed blindness on several memorable occasions! Eve might have carved this into the bark of that darn tree in the Garden! Timeless and tragically beautiful, fallable and human. Great work!

[Tarik]

This is beautiful. I love the way you describe how the world is blinded and full of hypocrisy; Thanks for sharing