The Day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dancing tears falling fast

Loving smiles never last

Torched memories burning slow

Does he love me? I will never know

Black body bag wheeling by

Ashy smoke floating high

The day my smile finally sighed

The day my almost lover died

 

 

Author's Note

:] Smile babes Gods Watching

Reviews

[Love Struck]

What do you think about my remixed version? It fits with the story of an old ex:

Star-crossed lovers falling fast
Endless winters never last
Star-crossed lovers breaking slow
Does he love her? She'll never know
Party-goers passing by
Cigarette smoke falling high
The day his smiles turned to lies
The day her almost lover dies

[Love Struck]

I love this, in a really tragic way. It almost reminds me of Westside Story...I really do love the rhymes, though. Would you mind if I post this in my AIM profile, if I tag your name?

[justink :):)]

wow i loved it the poem was a little sad but very good

justin:):)

[Tyler James]

Sad, thought provoking, elegantly worded.

[J.P.O.et]

'Dancing tears falling fast
Loving smiles never last'
I really like that and I agree the 'almost lover'
def makes you do a double take and reread
Love it

J.P.O.et

[Bhavya Kaushik]

"The day my smile finally sighed
The day my almost lover died..."

Damn! This one is again sad, Beautifully sad! :(
I agree with shadow wolf about the correct meaning of "Almost lover"..It's like forces the reader to put his/her brain in it..
But it's a great piece of writing..
(I guess you should increase the font as it's too too small)
Awesome indeed! :)

[ShadowWolf]

Sadness yet the words "almost lover" leave the reader wondering if the lover is imaginary or real?