You Can Love Me

<3

You can take me by the hand, and I won't pull away.

You can tell me your greatest lie, and I would still stay.

You can kiss me a million times, and I would still want more.

You can make me laugh forever even when my cheeks grow sore.

You can whisper how you adore me in my ear until your lips feel numb.

You can choose anyone else, but insted tell me every night that I'm the one.

You can stay with me forever, and pray never to blink.

You can make me feel so alive, make my heart sink.

You can turn my frown into a smile with you in my thoughts.

You can make my knees weak, and turn my stomach into knots.

You can hold me in your arms until I grow old.

You can give me your coat, and scarf when it gets cold.

You can ask me to marry you, and maybe I'll cry.

You can greet me with love, and never say goodbye.

Author's Note

The best I can write... on 'happy'.

:)

Reviews

[Travis Lawrence]

Yes, this works well, the emotion is there, and it's happy. And I would tell you, though this is good, it is not the best you can write, as that work of art will take form some years from now. We all grow as writers with time, I've seen it in my own.

-Travis

[Antigone]

Impressive! There aren't many poems on WritersCafe that actually rhyme, but you did a great job with this one. Leave it to Erin to take 'happy' and type it out into a 14-line poem, haha. Keep it up!

[Antigone]

One word (well, technically not a word): awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

aw, that's nice.

there's a lot of mixed feelings here though... sometimes, like in the begining with "You can take me by the hand, and I won't pull away." i'm like aww that's so sweet

and then there' sother lines where i'm like nuh uh! don't accept that! lol but i totally hear ya, aand undersatnd what lovign someone can do to our own standards... as in, lower them! lol

lovely though. overall, you managed the happy lol

[justjenn_2u]

A person that loves the other person so very much. Wow!!!!

You can choose anyone else, but insted tell me every night that I'm the one

This line reminds me of a song by Sheryl Crow. I enjoyed this poem. Way to go!

[Joseph - Michael]

And that was really nice thing to write. Whoever you're with should know how lucky he is to have you. It's a real shame that not everybody know what a love is anymore...

Anyway, it's a real nice read and I really do wish that someone would say that to me. On the other hand, it's still all good...

[Prose-full]

another great write....
another really great flow...
it is nice...mellow, sorda like smooth hot chocolate on a very cold day

some fav's
"You can hold me in your arms until I grow old."
You can give me your coat, and scarf when it gets cold."
"You can tell me your greatest lie, and I would still stay."

[a Messenger]

I really enjoyed this Erin. Kind of a novel take on love to give someone permission to love you.
As far as being your best, happy or otherwise, far from it. Every piece you turn out is better than the one before it and that will continue being true as long as you write.

[J.P.O.et]

I loved the way you used the repetition in this one as opposed to before
You really make it work and the rhyme scheme is great
And the touch at the end with the cross out of goodbye was very clever
Truly love this one, Erin
J.P.O.et

[Daly]

I like how you aligned the poem. It shows how central the person is to the speaker. And the rhyme scheme is really good. Great job! :-)