The Extra Yard

My mission in life was changed in the blink of an eye...

The Extra Yard

Why did I fight so long and so hard,

What drove me to go the extra yard;

Lord, if it is your will I did,

Please show me a way so I can forgive.

The bitterness eats at me, night and day,

Please help me help others I solemnly pray;

The anger I hold deep down within,

You have let me see, is nothing but sin.

I feel that no matter what I try to do,

The hatred I feel will never be through;

I hid my abuse so the world wouldn't see,

What the man I loved was doing to me.

I used alcohol to drown the pain,

I couldn't tell friends, I was too ashamed;

A competent woman like me would be,

A fool to those, letting him hurt me.

I was in a circle going round and round,

Trying hard as hell to let no one down;

I knew not whom to tell my plea,

And often wondered at my sanity.

Alas this matter was taken out of my hands,

When I fell again into the abusers plans;

He had threatened my life if I ever spoke,

Of the way his hands went around my throat.

But it soon began to dawn on me,

If I kept the secret I would never be free;

So with terror running from head to toe,

I told the police of my dreadful foe.

On pins and needles, I waited a week,

To see if anything, justice would seek;

I wondered daily if the abuser knew,

And if he found out, what would he do?

Follow through on his threat to take my life?

Those days were filled with nothing but strife;

But in all of this I was way off base,

Justice told me there would be no case.

They said I was lying and made it clear,

There would be no help to ease my fear;

To say I was shocked to the core would be,

A mild description and picture of me.

At first I thought this must be a dream,

But it was real and I wanted to scream;

Of all the avenues I have had to take,

This turn is the hardest for my mind to make.

It was out of the blue and so unexpected,

I was left feeling small and unprotected;

What had I done to the powers that be,

Why did they want to crucify me.

Why did they not, at least one time,

Show me I was worth a solitary dime;

I just kept thinking if I could get them more,

They would help, not show me the door.

The institute of Justice, I still did believe,

But once again, I was totally naive;

It's so hard now, to go into town,

With everyone's head snapping around.

The shift of their eyes when they see me,

Could the rumors they've heard, possibly be;

So I've paid my dues, I'm through playing nice,

When you see me coming, you need to look twice.

This is not the girl that used to be,

I’m now on a mission and admittance is free;

So don’t let my softness set you too much at ease;

My agenda now, bring justice to its knees;

Please don’t judge of what I've to do,

With all your judicial hypocrisy;

It so hopefully your mother, daughter or sister,

Will never sail the same sweet sea!

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Unresolved anger over a negative event which occurred, creates a seething, aching emotional turmoil and an inability to let go and forget. It is an emotionally disturbing experience, that cycles over and over again in the mind.

The structure and content of your composition, clearly reflects a personal conflict, which is still to be addressed. Although, at first, the reader gets the impression of hopelessness, the conclusion indicates a determination and strength to overcome the aggression and torment. If the light at the end of this particular tunnel is to be reached, it will be by sheer self-determination and will-power.

Expressive and poignant write!

God's Blessing
Phillozofee