An odd revelation

Actually I am not a poet so this is not really a poem, it's the way Tita feels when her lover is gone for ever. Then Elijah comes in her life, claiming her strongly and she reborns. Is he the one...

He lays there still

Soulless body

Empty carcass

Tries to still my essence

My keeper is open

My mind is already gone

I drown in my grief

With no way out

Why wouldn’t it be me?

Why not now, a small voice implies

And really why not?

We should be together

Forever as promised

To the land of the undead

To our eternity

I close my eyes but then I see you

Your face so beautiful

Your essence so strong

I want to get lost but you don’t

You pull me back

You give me life

You kiss my lips and

Steal my heart

There is nothing left for him.

Are you the one?

Author's Note

Please judge me not too hard, I am not a poet...just felt like expressing my Tita's grief...

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

an interesting scenario and well portrayed. Once more good emotion and good flow.

[F.P. Chat]

:)

[ewest1220]

Very sad however the last two lines were the most interesting I think. Almost like a willingness to try again if "the one" appears. Very though provoking great job!

[F.P. Chat]

Many thanks for reading and I am really glad you enjoyed it.
:)

[Rhea752]

Forever as promised
To the land of the undead

those are my favorite lines
and really, this is very poetic for something that's not a poem.
i enjoyed this very much. Keep writing!!! :D

[F.P. Chat]

thanks for reading :)

[Mauricio Montoya]

very sad piece, but I think you've done a gret job bringing this together. the way I see it this is poetry. thank you for sharing.

[Kaylor Mason]

This is good . . . I feel sorry for Tita. Hopefully she'll find someone else.

[F.P. Chat]

If you feel like it you can read from my books...I will tell you a secret! she does! :) Thanks for the review...

[Kaylor Mason]

I'll look into them

[Muse]

This is a spectacular prose. Your thoughts are so very heartbroken but penned with a melodic beauty.

[F.P. Chat]

Many thanks for review. i am glad you liked it.

[J. F. Charleston]

Actually quite splendid. It's really beautiful when the character closes their eyes and to the very last line.

[F.P. Chat]

Well you see until she closes her eyes the feelings are from the first book, but the last part is from the second one. If you find my book you will understand what I am talking about.
Many thanks for you review. I am really glad you enjoyed it.

[ba_mcfarlane]

If it looks good it's a painting. If it dances good it is music. If it reads good, it's poetry.
Welcome to the club.

[Antonio Valentino]

nothing odd at all, and yes, this is, poetry my friend..

i would have used a little spacing here and there to emphasize some key parts but other then that, very well done, keep it up.. amazing things come to us, through chance, and, spirit..

:)

[F.P. Chat]

Thanks for reading and I am really happy you liked it...
I enjoy writing my books more so...read moreThanks for reading and I am really happy you liked it...
I enjoy writing my books more so...

[Antonio Valentino]

you're very welcome.. i'll try giving one of your books a go but ill warn you, my attention span is not very long.. good thing i write poetry right.. :)

[F.P. Chat]

yeah true...then you should try just the one chapetr of the Quest, let me know what you thought of it...whenever! thanks

[Antonio Valentino]

i will do that, thanks for the reccomendation.. looking forward to it.. :)