Fickle Lover

Listen to Death Cab for Cuties' song "loyal lover" before reading this one.

I come from a home with mother and brother,

we all can be such fickle lovers,

I dream of a girl while kissing another,

but she does the same (we're like eachother),

It's not that I am a foolish player,

I simply love to love true failure,

and breaking hearts is oh so bitter,

so I keep praying I'll change to fit her,

She has standards and rules and figures,

I have a rifle with rounds and a trigger,

She loves love and feeling pretty,

I love hikes and all things gritty,

There is no butter and even less flies,

When I stare deep in her eyes,

But maybe this is love and i just don't know?

Lately all life has become just a show.

So my dream love shall remain locked away,

and my body will keep my heart at bay.

Author's Note

Not really done yet....but give me some feedback while I figure out where the rest of it is going.

Reviews

[Phoenix]

It was a good idea to say we should listen to that song first, it kind of makes an introduction. Not that this poem needs it! This is definitely one of my favorites now, next to Syreme. Other than that it flows and rhymes really well, its just...really good! I think because it's focused. Sometimes your poems aren't, but this one is.