Fifteen

For a friend that I consider close enough to call her a sister....

There are some things,
better left unsaid,
not given air,
but trapped in heads

Some thoughts we think,
and dreams we feel,
that ought never,
escape and be real

I know you dream,
that my values will fail,
and at the same time,
your glad they prevail

I can see in your eyes,
a hunger, a lust,
but i know inside me,
that wont be for us

I love you, I do,
as all brothers should,
but more will not be,
for your greater good.

Reviews

[raining]

Not what we say, what we keep inside, our values, and more than that., this poem says things about that and in the end you are trying to reach out to someone, your brother, friend? that you have to hold back from getting closer?

I can't do ryme. I have tried. This is good, to be able to do that and still keep what you are saying all together. I think the pattern of the words are good, though toward the end the ryme did strain and to fix that part would be the place to start.... though I am hardly an english teacher.

[C. C. Burl]

Wow, this is good. You describe the feeling so well . . . I was going to pick out a favorite stanza but I don't think I can . . . they're all amazing! Simply excellent. Flora.

[~angelalala~]

i find this poem a bit disturbing. it was the line "as all brothers should" that did it. overall i think its well written and flows smoothly. its a beautiful poem in itself, speaks of love and lust that cannot be fulfilled,which many people can relate to. its who it seems its written for that's a bit....baffling & somewhat odd. otherwise, great poem.

[Phoenix]

It gives me that feeling again, that huge missing piece. If this is for who it seems like it's for, it's got a lot of things wrong. But what do I know, right?
Ugh, but know the feeling of keeping things trapped in your head for the sake of others...but sometimes you're really just protecting yourself, and whoever you're hiding from might be very grateful for the unsaid things, even if they were awful. Because something's better than nothing.
Sorry, that was a very cryptic review...Why is it called Fifteen?