The Joys of Renting

Porn, hitmen, and lawsuits

    I live in a non-residential area in the city – it’s zoned for commercial use, but the owner of the building just knocked down a few walls and began calling these storage facilities “spacious art studios.”
    I can’t complain about my neighbors, but this is only because I don’t pay rent. If I did pay, I’d complain all the time. I’d complain to various court systems and I’d appeal any lost cases.
    One neighbor calls his art studio “The Forbidden Room.” He’s into making bestiality porn for a living; I guess he does all right for himself. Sometimes I hear pigs squealing and sheep bah-ing. The largest animal he ever tried to bring was a horse; when that didn’t work, he used miniature donkeys and old mules. Once, I let him borrow a digital remote control – we have the same cable box – and when I walked into “The Forbidden Room” to retrieve it, I saw five erect men (two Asian, two black, one white) standing in a circle beating a chicken to death with their c***s.
    I learned a lot about animal cruelty and racial stereotypes regarding the male organ that day.
    Two so-called “best friends” (one male, one female) live on the other side of me. I’m pretty sure the woman kills for hire and she keeps the man around as a toy. She says her name is Trina Salem, but she doesn’t have any ID, and she only told me her name two days after she learned how to spell mine. A week ago, I realized “Trina Salem” contains all the same letters of my own name, just rearranged: Lisa Martens.
    Why don’t I pay rent? The owner of the building let the stairs fall apart and I twisted my ankle. When I complained, he said there was nothing I could legally do since this building technically wasn’t a residential building. I replied, “If this isn’t a residential building, I have no obligation to pay rent, and you have no jurisdiction to evict me.” He left me alone after that.
    I just hope he doesn’t hire Trina Salem to kill me.
 

Reviews

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I thisn that this needs more punch at the end....and you do have all the right ingredients, its good but needs to pack more whollop at the end.