Sirens of the drop-outs

A little criticism.

We still fall for the same old drugs
consuming became natural lust
the skin we wore
does not fit us anymore
The wind crosses our destined path
so we remember those who fell at last

Come on down to the river's edge
where we destroy fortune's badge
we wore in a lifetime of ignorance
selfishness and bohemian friends

The burning shacks of our neighbors
they were concealed by the favors
of Mother Nature's coincidences
which made us build mental fences
Separated mud from gold,
this artificial border got much too old
Separated mud from diamonds,
listen, listen to the sirens

Come on down to the river's edge
where we destroy fortune's badge
we wore in a lifetime of ignorance
selfishness and bohemian friends

Reviews

[Alice Poésy]

I think it makes quite a lot of sense, Thomas! In fact, I think it's very well written and gives a lot to chew on, from the title to the whole piece. I understand it's a criticism on our society, and I think you have painted this quite well using very lyrical prose.

A big well done!

[forgotten_ghosts]

Ah, thank you very much, Alice! Really made me smile!

[Riddling]

It didn't make too too much sense, no offense. It also didn't follow some certain poem criteria/constraints, but it was still very well structured.

[forgotten_ghosts]

Thanks for your honest opinion! Could you please tell me what does not make sense ? I want to understand what you mean.
Greetings

[Riddling]

Oh my, I'm so sorry! I don't think I fully read the poem or something, my goodness. I've been scattered with school, so sorry!!!! This was VERY well constructed and it made clear sense when I reread it just a few minutes ago, I am so sorry.

[Jackie]

The near rhymes work quite well and the poem it self sounded great! Still thinking about it. Quite thought provoking.:-)

[forgotten_ghosts]

Thank you very much, Jackie!