Painful Questions

A conversation in my head. Two sides of my mind speaking. S1=side 1, S2=side 2

S1: Why the heck did he leave me...
S2: Cause you messed it up! Again! You're such a little f*****g weirdo. I mean, you're repeating sophomore year, who would wanna go out with a dumbass?!?!
S1: My parents held me back, shut up about that already!!
S2: Still. You're like not even pretty. There's soooo many more prettier girls out there than you.
S1: I know...
S2: You weren't even nice to him. You were SO selfish. Not ONCE did you sit with his group, but yet everyday he sat with yours. AND you made him sick! You KNEW you were sick when you made out with him!!
S1: I KNOW! I am sooooo stupid.
S2: Hell yes you are.
S1: We were so perfect, I could've made it stay that way.
S2: He thinks you're a selfish b***h now. Psycho and annoying. He just wants to forget you forever.
S1: But he said he didn't want to lose me...
S2: Every guy says things to just make girls feel better, he doesn't really mean it.
S1: Kill me now. I really love him. And I mean really LOVE him. Not because he gave me all these compliments, and we made out, but because I love him. Every part of him and everything about him. He's perfect to me. I see the world in him. He makes me feel complete. Whenever I'm around him, I feel something special. When he's sad or stressed, I feel the same. I'd do anything to get him back. Honestly anything. No, I'm not desperate for anybody, I'm desperate for him. I never wanna date again unless it's him. He's unlike no other.