Thoughts in my nightmare of a reality

As much as I try and try to do the work my teachers have given me they do not understand the many other thoughts floating around my head blocking me from making the right judgements. The memories, pain and darkness waiting for me to take my fall. The tears I cry every night as I stay awake counting over every mistake and sorrow I have been through the past five years of my life. Depression consuming my almost every thought of everyday. Anxiety taking over me every day I step into the school. Waiting for my peers around me to turn their backs and laugh as I fail to succeed once again. The walls I have built around myself to stop from getting hurt and abandoned by loved ones closing in on me on step at a time. Some days feeling so numb inside that I can't feel the mental pain that's within me slowly pulling me apart.

Reviews

[Abilash Uttama]

there are 2 way to response to pain: wither or thrive
CHOOSE THRIVE
life without pain is myth, learn to endure it. pain is there to make you strong.
Enjoy every little thing like chirping of birds, scent of flowers, meal with loved ones, there are so many things to adore and admire.
live momentarily, live happily :)

[Jordan]

Is this from experience? Or just an emotional experiment to capture anxiety?

If it's from experience I can't give any constructive criticism because I am not a life coach.

If it's an attempt to capture emotion, well done.

Not really sure if and how you could change anything else. It's more or less structurally sound.