Stay Awhile

Cinnamon ash sillage Left behind in this city of light, Beaded crimson and black satin, But a decoration in the world of goodbyes. Sweet, sweet love of mine, A game of cards, a bottle of wine, Sweep the tears and search for smiles, How I wish you could stay awhile. Dripping pearls and shattering diamonds, We've defied the odds before, With glittering eyes and a haunted grin, We've known all along there's elegance within. The ballad of a dove,

Brightens the twisted roads of love, A letter written with a rose's tail, Is attatched to a sunken sail, Strung to the maidens, pretty and bright, Drowning now from your sudden flight.

But I won't be double-crossed like them,

I'll stay afloat and learn to swim.

So stay awhile longer, my dear,

And whisper words of reassurance

In my waiting ear.

Author's Note

Reviews? Please don't be afraid to be critical. Just don't be mean. Thanks, bro :)

Reviews

[Alpris]

I love your picture choice for this poem; brings some sort of glam/adventure to the romanced mood. Choice of words is good too, things I haven't read before but quite like. It had a great flow, and was very endearing. Well done.

[koty bell]

wow awesome poem very beautifal:)

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

This is a really decent poem , some of the imagery you have created gives the poem it's heart , the poem is elegant I feel :)

[Crow]

I love the beautiful imagery and message of hope this piece offers. Perhaps you could consider breaking the following up into shorter individual lines to fit the flow and rhytm of the rest of the piece.

"How I wish you could stay awhile. Dripping pearls and shattering diamonds, We've defied the odds before, With glittering eyes and a haunted grin, We've known all along there's elegance within. The..."

Regardless, this is an excellent write.

[Leah Dawn]

Beautifully written, Hope . . . spectacular.

[ashweejune]

I really enjoyed this, amazing

[Linda]

Gorgeous work, so lovey to bits xoxoxo

[Reverent]

I usually feel inclined to nudge peers to make use of imagery, but there is no need for that here.

A surprisingly pleasant find.

So polished, and so beautiful in a heart-warming, classic way.

I'm afraid that I don't really have any constructive criticism for you.

Just thank you for writing.

[TadKent]

Wow. You dazzle me. :)
I LOVED this. Gripping, gorgeous and full of life.
You're kind of feisty in your poetry haha, and I like it. :)
You're talented. I could read this over and over.

[nicolo]

Can I stay here forever? xP

This is piece is a living thing.