i died

 

 

i died

 

 

 

The day I died

no one well maybe one

felt some inexplicably

the Moon did not alter time

nor shift its constant gaze

the Divine appeared wasted

dethroned totally to me

like the cook hadn’t a baster

nor had SHE basted HE

 

The minute I died

I no longer longed for fear

nor fatigue fagged nor ennui and ALL

Hell away like an EXHALE

for once could I breathe and DID

TRULY revived from slumber

a burning “revolutionary” in quotations marked

like blackest death for “Christians”

in indiscriminate numberless irrations

physicsless, mathless,

yet still capable NAUGHT

of ordinary madness

yet NOT sadness, nor false evidence

relinquished, surrendered, abandoned

MY FOOL

 

The moment I died

you felt your first epic rock

crush your blues and rubber soul

too shock true false in-to-a

Golden Means means meaning, merit, value, BEATing

no mean thing not irreverent in the slightest irrelevance

rather sacred and what is

“that/this”, mere games for a kid love loving self

bored torn never born never to die

deceased never played on the wheel

of life ALONE,

“KIDS, what manner of street cred J.C. BE?”

 

The instant I died

God’s plan realized Corpus

Christi Risible Ghostly Host of Evil

vision dispersion division glance: blow cutter!

“Away! Stone NO ONE, GO AWAY!”

villainous earthly plight Constantine laying NICE-aly???

for WOW, WHO WHOM didst

thou a treasure WARS

IGNITE and EVIL be for promises

broken sodden guiltily

pleasure bent bent bent

this way and that and then

SNAPPED

 

and ALL end

 

 

 

Robin

 

Reviews

[Gandré]

This was pure expression of your of your beliefs and opinions this...breaking of a condition suddenly and abruptly, as under tension, I loved this:
Golden Means means meaning, merit, value, BEATing

no mean thing not irreverent in the slightest irrelevance

rather sacred and what is

"that/this", mere games for a kid love loving self

bored torn never born never to die" ------- word spurting fiery sparks ! All such as "ordinary madness" , danger, been, end. great write!!!

[Sydelle Houston]

Some poetry goes over my head, as this is not my forte. I sense you were trying to convey a mass of different powerful emotions all at once. Run with the comments from your other reviewers.

[Windy]

I will admit there was some I do not understand, but, I could feel alot of "passion" and feeling put into it. I think the format fit it very well emotion jumped out in several places. I'm honestly not sure what else I can say...

[Raef C. Boylan]

Capitalisation just became powerful again. Great job.
I figure my dying thoughts will be chaotic - hopefully as poetic as this but probably not.
Fast-paced, like you got to fit it all in quick.
I won't pretend to understand it all, but I liked it.
Thanks for sharing this.

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Great read. The uneven rhyme scheme is quite appealing as is the subject matter. I think you might end it at the word SNAPPED - so strong right there. But just a humble suggestion. The last line seems unnecessary. This is a very powerful work. Well done my dear. Thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

[wizthom]

this is you in your true form..i love it when you make love to the heart stimulate the mind while jacking off the emotions ,, u explore too many styles, yet the one you have perfected is the one you most neglect .yes i can say my friend the flow the sights the feel all flowed as one ,,robin u should die more often at lest i can see the depths of Ur creations,peace wizthom

[The Dark Priest]

The day I die
my dreams will be answered
and the words will be muttered
as day will continue
effortless and free.
Die, die, die
it's always about dying and the end, yet never about there here and the now! Alas! I love this and your gift of wrapping words my friend.
Write hard!
G.

[An owl on the moon]

Powerful, in word and rhythm!!! Awesome depth and intensity in every line... You capture a vivid sense of the moment, of living and dying...

Craig