i died

 

 

i died

 

 

 

The day I died

no one well maybe one

felt some inexplicably

the Moon did not alter time

nor shift its constant gaze

the Divine appeared wasted

dethroned totally to me

like the cook hadn’t a baster

nor had SHE basted HE

 

The minute I died

I no longer longed for fear

nor fatigue fagged nor ennui and ALL

Hell away like an EXHALE

for once could I breathe and DID

TRULY revived from slumber

a burning “revolutionary” in quotations marked

like blackest death for “Christians”

in indiscriminate numberless irrations

physicsless, mathless,

yet still capable NAUGHT

of ordinary madness

yet NOT sadness, nor false evidence

relinquished, surrendered, abandoned

MY FOOL

 

The moment I died

you felt your first epic rock

crush your blues and rubber soul

too shock true false in-to-a

Golden Means means meaning, merit, value, BEATing

no mean thing not irreverent in the slightest irrelevance

rather sacred and what is

“that/this”, mere games for a kid love loving self

bored torn never born never to die

deceased never played on the wheel

of life ALONE,

“KIDS, what manner of street cred J.C. BE?”

 

The instant I died

God’s plan realized Corpus

Christi Risible Ghostly Host of Evil

vision dispersion division glance: blow cutter!

“Away! Stone NO ONE, GO AWAY!”

villainous earthly plight Constantine laying NICE-aly???

for WOW, WHO WHOM didst

thou a treasure WARS

IGNITE and EVIL be for promises

broken sodden guiltily

pleasure bent bent bent

this way and that and then

SNAPPED

 

and ALL end

 

 

 

Robin

 

Reviews

[Gandré]

This was pure expression of your of your beliefs and opinions this...breaking of a condition suddenly and abruptly, as under tension, I loved this:
Golden Means means meaning, merit, value, BEATing

no mean thing not irreverent in the slightest irrelevance

rather sacred and what is

"that/this", mere games for a kid love loving self

bored torn never born never to die" ------- word spurting fiery sparks ! All such as "ordinary madness" , danger, been, end. great write!!!

[Periac]

The moment I died
you felt your first epic rock
crush your blues and rubber soul



neats

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

another unique poem .. this based on death , yet it has such a life of it's own .. it is your views on this subject well expressed. beat style for sure//

Chloe
xoxo

[Adela Muresan]

Haha, I like the ending , ,, SNAPPED/and ALL end,, �
It's kowel to think that what lies after may end our sadness� you got good ideas :) .

A.M.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Interesting, loving the metaphors and images, and I really loved the way this is written! This is powerful stuff, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.

[Wildfleour]

Aside from a couple of typos, I got caught up in this piece like being in the eye of the storm. It swept me along and held me in its grasp.

This needs to be read out loud, in front of an audience.

when it comes to form, rhythm, and beats, you are the God of it.

Time to start merchandising your altar...

These are powerful pieces with a great message, and you are able to integrate these to amplify the emotion, which now, gives more amplification to the message.

*kapow*

Great piece

[Mel]

Wonderfully amazing! This death screams a thousand passions, clarity of the mind, and relentless anguish. It was passionate and eloquent and left me feeling ripped open, raw. I love the verse:
The instant I died

God's plan realized Corpus

Christi Risible Ghostly Host of Evil

vision dispersion division glance: blow cutter!

"Away! Stone NO ONE, GO AWAY!"

villainous earthly plight Constanine laying NICE-aly???

for WOW, WHO WHOM didst

thou a treasure WARS

IGNITE and EVIL be for promises

broken sodden guiltily

pleasure bent bent bent

this way and that and then

SNAPPED

I love that you brought Constatine into this. This was a beautiful write; is it terrible to say that I can't wait for your next death?

[Emily Rose]

Ah, such a great comment on religion, the dead, life, everything! I love how you express your feelings in such a crazy, fun-to-read form; I get more out of it every time, Robin! Like an ocean your words rock me, float me, and I can only hope that one day I will not drown...

[Emily B]

THe magnificent sound of it. I'm truly without better words. You've said it so fully.

[Legion]

Glad you drug Constatine into this write. :) Love the flow of this. Bet this sounds well spoken on a stage in front of an adiuance (chk sp). Kudos. Figure it out yet?