First Night

A Companion Piece to Seriana's First Light

First Night

 

 

 

The sun's secret to the moon is " never all die"

the moon she winks at big-man and pokes his sunny eye

I hear you've been drinking with the rays all day long

fall helps now sunset pillows take away the throng

Silly flowers wilty danced the day away in tries

now to sleep before off to bed is their demise

No one can flee there is  no need nor desire  right

I love thee as sleepy white chocolate doves, good night

 

In the crisp cool beckoning of death to day fine

enter deeply the poignance starlight doth refine

 

With valor and grace one risks choices and one lives

he or she that doth love time, live, fight, and forgive!

 

Ethereal  sparkles brighten motions of trend

but wish all you want, this sweetest day is at end

Notions of fright and merit has God given pass

slight flowers furl up thy tresses like a good lass

The slivers of day have died their thousand beams shorn

give a way to pink, blue, scarlet, magenta form

remember thee girly, born of whimsy hand in glove,

kill the day with twilight, feel her dying for my Love

 

 

 

 

Robin

 

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

Once again, I like your way with words. The rhymes don't come across to me as cliche, which is quite a nice change, and the form in which you wrote the poem is visually pleasing. There's a certain asymmetry to the rhythm that I'm not sure I like, but it's probably only noticable to anal retentive people like me. ^_^ I really like the tension between the sun and the moon too - the light/dark imagery is quite convincing. Well done!

[lilain]

It is refreshing to read your stuff again, Robin. This poem feels a wee bit different than your earlier stuff. It feels more vulnerable and enchantingly beautiful (not that you other stuff isn't, but you get the idea).

You're a true poet - bravo and thanks for sharing!

[Ross Barker]

Wow! This poems amazing. I really liked it, especially since you used big words that I couldn't understand, and it was amazing how you described each and everything. Well Done!

[An owl on the moon]

LIfting words that move us beyond the grip of earth! Such a richness to your language that hovers over time past and present... Simply beautiful!

[Seriana]

MOST splendid Robin. Delightfully warming and smoothly flowing. Wow, it's just what I was thinking! Beautifully done. I truly can say I'm with Dani, where's the book? And please, you must write like this more often, it's so befitting of you. Wonderful!

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Quite exquisite - fragrant, ethereal and flowing. A great write. A very interesting direction you are moving in here. Nice work. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha

[Dani California]

And with that,
the past became the past,
and now,
is new....

in its constant state.

Grab your gear and keep movin dear...

and don't forget
to pack your lessons.


Robin,
send me your book.
I'll spend my life's savings on it.

wow.

[D. Nelson]

its amazing how writing seems to move like waves amoung us... i just wrote 2 poems... one about the sun, the other about the moon... and looking over the recent writings it seems many people have written of those things today with what would seem no communication. perhaps its coincidence, or something else. but notheless this is an amazing write... kudos

[darkgurl]

This is a most wonderful thought out write, I enjoyed this write.