Stuck In The Middle

Written Dec. 5th, 2013

Your stuck in middle of what you want, how you feel, and what to do with what you want and feel. You want to feel love, you want to feel like your wanted by someone other than the family and the friends around you. You want be with someone who makes you feel like your the only person in the world of romance. Who will show you off to everyone not caring what people say and a put up a fight for you when things get tough. You will always have each others backs through thick and thin, even at the roughest of moments. Always picking each other up off the ground when one of you are feeling down. Giving each other hope and the strength to find that true love does exist and it can exist for both of you together. You think you have found that person but you are not so sure. You don't know what to make of the feelings rolling around inside you. You feel love for the person who gives it to you, you feel happy for the love that you have been given but you feel confused about how to take it all in and what to do with it. You wanted to feel loved this whole time and someone has finally given into your request. Their different unlike any other and for some reason you like that about them. They treat you differently but with respect. But you ask yourself is this really what you want? Is this person really who you want to make a commitment with? This person gives you everything when yet they are so far away but you feel as if they are so close to your heart. They try and give you as much as they can give waiting for what you have to give in return. They tell you things you only dreamed of like the moment when they tell you they have fallen for you and you know their is no backing out for them. But you have been hurt so many times before. You have hurt people to but you have changed and when you changed the people you wanted to be happy with were who you used to be. They weren't as rough but they projected the image of who you wish to no longer be. You wanted to find that person to love you for your rights, not judge you by your wrongs, your past but help you create a better future. And they open the door and walk into your life offering you to take their hand. They wants to be close to you, touch you, to make you feel beautiful even when you already are, but your so confused. Your confused because you don't understand how everything can be happening so fast. One minute you were crying in tears over the person you so desperately trusted to find out they were hiding behind lies. They were close to you for a short amount of time and now they are gone and the new person who has entered your life is so far away, but not far from your heart. You can't touch them but you can feel them with every breath you take. You've imagined what it would be like with almost every person you got serious with, what it would be like to spend the rest of your life together holding hands and sharing kisses. And you realized it never worked out but you think about your significant other and wonder the same thing. You dream about the things they say they are destined to give you. A long lasting love now and a future full of accomplishments but how do you believe them? How do you believe out of all the other fish in the sea they would capture you heart and take it? Not to break it but to keep where there own heart is placed. Your heart has trust for them and you don't see how and your scared but you trust them with all risk because your not a quitter. How do you love when you are unsure of the outcomes? How do you not worry when its the first thing on your mind? And how do you know they want this, everything a future as bad as you do? But wait its only been a short amount of time. How can you want things over a short period of time? How come when you think of letting go you find it hard to breathe. You get a feeling in your stomach that wont fade with the thought of your mind still stuck on holding on. You sit and cry telling yourself you want this to be it, you want them to be it. But you wonder is this what is going through their mind? Do they believe in forever?