How Do I Fix Myself

Written Nov. 26th, 2013.

What do you do when you feel like your loosing yourself? Everyday you miss the person who promised to always be there for you. One day you wake up thinking everything is okay and then the next minute the one person you thought that you could trust has gone away. You didn't spend a lot of time with this person but the time that you did spend meant everything to you, every touch and every kiss until the minute that person left. You wake up hoping for another tomorrow with them and you get that, you hope for a weekend too, to spend holding hands and it never comes. All the happiness you had hoped to have is now broken and all the love you had wished to find was never there. You wonder why such a thing could happen to you. You wonder what did you do wrong or what did you do to deserve the broken remains of your heart that has shattered into a million pieces. They say they care but they hold hands and happily share love with someone else. Someone who is not you, someone who you despise for having there attention. You wonder why you chose wrong and will it ever go away, the sickening feeling in your stomach. The pain fades but you still feel it. Everyday its as if you are stepping on all the broken pieces and even though you realized it was a short time and you weren't in love it doesn't stop the hurt. And it doesn't stop what you thought it would be and what you wanted it to be. And all you can do is hope.. hope that things will get easier, and hope that you will one day learn to trust again. Its because of them you push every soul away and shut the world out and you wonder when will you be able to let the world in. But you just don't know you just don't. How can I learn to trust again? To let myself fall in love? When I am broken because of you.