10. Anthem for the Underdog

Song by 12 Stones. Drews mistake finally breaks his relationship with Kate, when he finds her to try to apologise he doesn't like what he sees.

 

He scared me half to death, I thought I was going to lose him. All the way on my drive to the hospital I kept thinking could I actually do this? Keep this shameless flirting and letting him toy me along. He had to do some soul searching and I couldn’t be holding his hand. I walked into the sterile hospital and got to the place where he was being held. He was awake. His father came out to me.

“He is stable.” I just nodded and walked in. His whole face brightened at the sight of me.

“Kate.” His voice was hoarse.

“Drew.” I sat on the bed next to him. I took a look at him both arms held some sort of bandaging.

“I’m sorry.” I held his hand and looked into his bright blue eyes this moment is going to kill me but I just couldn’t do it anymore.

“No I am. Drew I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep giving you my heart and to have you so carelessly throw it around. Did you know what it felt like to wake up to you kissing me? It was nice and safe but then you go and try to kill your self and I can’t be ok with that. Drew I have waited over a month for you to find your self, but I can’t help or hold you back.” Tears were welled up in both of our eyes.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I can’t be around you any more. I’m saying I can’t keep up this game of acting like I don’t care. Truth is I care so much that it’s killing me to see you just give up.” He looked down at our intertwined hands.

“So Ivy was right, I am only bringing you pain.” I gave out a pained sob.

“No, you have brought me so much happiness to, it makes me happy to see you happy. But this I can’t deal with. I thought I lost you Drew, if I hadn’t of found you.” I leaned down and kissed his forehead before I backed.

“This isn’t goodbye its just a break, I will see you when we go back to school. Goodbye Drew.” I couldn’t hide the tears so I turned and was about to leave.

“Kate wait, I know what I did was wrong, but I really do care about you.” I just shook my head and left. His parents gave me questioning glances but I just brushed them off and went to my car where I broke down.

 

Wow, I was so stupid. I lost her and never even had the chance to have her. My dad came in and I just turned away.

“What just happened son?” I turned to him.

“I lost her.” Reality hit me, and it hit hard. I just leaned into my fathers embrace and cried. He just comforted me like he knew this was going to happen, I felt empty. My mother came in and she was the last person I wanted to see.

“Drew we know part of why you did this is because you blame your self for your brothers death.”  I looked to her like are you seriously talking bout this now?

“He isn’t dead. He has been in a coma, we thought that if you thought him as gone then both of you would move on. We were wrong.” I looked shocked.

“So you tell me this now? What the hell, I thought I was going to join my brother. Take me to him.” My mother looked skeptical.

“Take me to him. What more harm could it do? I lost my girl, didn’t kill my self. My life is s**t right now, at least you could do is take me to see him.” My father spoke up.

“Son, you can’t get worked up. I will take you to him.”

“Corbin.”

“Molly not now. We have kept this from him and look at where it led him. I am taking my son to see his brother, if you don’t like it go home.” My mother stood and walked off.

“Corbin, hope you like the couch.” I winced at my mother’s harsh tone, my father just sighed. Once my mother was out of ear shot I spoke.

“I’m sorry for everything. I didn’t think of the consequences. I didn’t think of Kate or you two. Just the words that Ivy kept saying replayed in my mind.” My father got me settled in the wheel chair before he wheeled me off.

“You really do care about Kate.” I sighed no point in it now.

“She’s angry with me, said I had to find my self that I was careless with her heart but I didn’t even knew I had it. Now she doesn’t even want to see me.” My father wheeled me down a darkened corridor and around the door laid my twenty two year old brother.

“Can I have a few moments alone?” My father left and I just stared at the man who I thought was dead.

“How could you just leave me Declan? Run out into that road? Nothing has been going right, I almost killed my self. I lost Kate, I just feel like s**t right now and I know you’re here but I can’t talk to you. I need my brother back, I need you Declan. Ivy is driving me to the edge and I can’t deal. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I know I am a guy that I am drew but I can’t separate my two lives, I cant help but feel trapped in my own body.” I wheeled closer to him ignoring the stabbing pain in my arm and held his hand, it was cold, I was searching for some sort of life but there was none. It was just a cold lifeless body lying on a hard bed. I stared hard at his face, always wishing that I could talk to him again and here was my chance even though I would get no answer. I called out to my father; this was enough for me for one day. He rolled me back to the room where my doctor and police sat. They had been watching me for the last few days. Being on suicide watch was never fun, for the next six months I have to see a therapist and I can’t be taking any medication nor work in a pharmacy. I was cleared and my father took me out to the Camaro?

“Why is Declan’s car here?”

“Drove it here. It used to be my car before I let Declan restore it.” I sat on the leather seats and knew that when I got home I would get an ear full from my mother.

“Now I am going to give you a talk, so your mother won’t be as bad. I think she is more scared than anything. Don’t get me wrong I am pissed off and you won’t be driving until you are off of suicide watch unless it’s to school and home. There will be no parties, nothing. You will be living like a nun. But also I am going to convince your mother to let you begin transitioning. On one condition, you work with me and what ever I say goes alright…Son?” I looked at my dad shocked. He wanted to help me transition?

“Sure, anything.” I went home and quickly ran up to my room. My mother was screaming at my father and I didn’t want to listen. I signed on my computer and went on twitter; it broke my heart to see the last tweet from Kate.

K8Bradshaw: Just did the hardest thing ever. Sometimes pain of the heart is to heal the soul.

@K8Bradshaw: FunDrew: I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I waited for a reply but it never came. I signed off of the Internet, my background was of Kate and I by the pool with my arm around her, how could I of been so blind. Even from the photograph you could see how happy we were. I sighed at the horrible reminder and changed it back to a lone ball field. I didn’t know what to do next. I had no clue on how to find my self. I pulled on some sneakers and went down to the kitchen.

“Can I go for a run?”

“No.” Came my mother’s sharp reply.

“I’ll run with him mom.” I turned and glared at Ivy she wasn’t my favorite person right now but I wanted to get out.

“I don’t know.” I looked pleadingly at my father.

“No more than an hour and be back.” I ran out of the house with my sister close on my tail. I was going to run all the frustration out of me.

“Drew slow down.” I kept running at the pace I was at.

“Drew come on I know you hate me but please I just got you out of the house.” I sighed and slowed down to a jog.

“What do you want? It was you that made me want to kill my self. Go cause someone else some pain its all you do.” I said speeding up.

“Alright I deserved that.” I looked at her like really?

“Drew come on you can’t not talk to me.” I stopped completely.

“Can I? If you never brought that son of a b***h around then I would never of wanted to die. I would of never felt so insecure… I would of never lost Kate. She won’t even talk to me.” I began running again when I felt the pain of reality coming back.

“You just can’t out run your problems.” I turned to her.

“I can damn well try, I got nothing else to lose.” I sprinted off till I lost her then I just stopped. When in hell did I start caring what people thought of me? When did I back down from a challenge? When did I walk away from the people I cared about? I knew what I had to do. I sprinted to her house and knocked on the front door.

“I need to see Kate.” Her father stood taller then me and was going to shut the door in my face.

“Please sir, I will wait out here all night. As long as it takes, I need to talk to her.”

“The way you left my daughter I will be surprised if you ever see her again. Go home Jan.” He slammed the door in my face and I went around to the tree and when I went up it I saw Kate sitting on the bed being comforted by Derek. I almost fell from the tree when he leaned over and kissed her head. Not even a week later and she was in the arms of another guy. I jumped from the tree and sprinted back to where I left my sister.

“Where did you go?”

“Doesn’t matter lets go home.” Her hand rested on my sweaty arm.

“Where did you go?” I sighed.

“Kate’s I thought maybe that I still had a chance. Her father wouldn’t let me in so I went around to her room and Derek is comforting her. I have truly lost her now can we go home?” My sister looked lost and slightly angry. I just ran home and when my father asked of my run I just shrugged him off and went upstairs to the shower.