9. Zero

Song by Hawk Nelson- A worried Kate calls the one person she knows can find Drew, Corbin goes searching for his son. Will he find him in time?

 

I rolled over and picked up the ringing phone it was almost four in the morning.

“Hello?” I said groggily, my wife woke next to me.

“Mr. Dawson, something is wrong with Drew. He just took off in Declan’s car all he would say is I’m sorry and that Ivy told him the truth. He said by the time I woke it would be all over. I don’t know where he went.” I sat up rubbing my face. Kate’s voice was frantic, worried and I knew something was wrong. I didn’t want to believe Molly when she said he was distancing him self but he was, I walked down stairs and saw that indeed the car that has sat still for two years and was gone. I looked around the kitchen and came to a note.

“Kate call the police, anywhere you think Drew would of gone tell them.” I dropped the phone as I read his messy scrawl.

Dear Mom, Dad and Kate,

I have never though of something like this before but I can’t just rid of Jan and be Drew. I was and am nothing but a freak. Carter was right and so was Ivy, all the pain I am causing this family started with Drew. I know that I am not Jan but I can’t live as Drew either. I know what I am going to do is going to hurt like hell, but in time it will all be better you will see. Soon I will be nothing but a memory. Think of the good times when Declan was alive, when I was nothing but your sweet daughter. I know that as I go to the grave I will be your son but to the rest make sure they don’t know. Kate if I don’t go see you, I am sorry. I skirted around you for a month, that day in the car was my subconscious talking. I can’t have you dragged through the mud all because we may feel anything. I can tell you that I love you, have since freshman year. Maybe if things were different then we could have had a life but in this time we can’t and for that all my last words to you can be is I’m sorry.

There was no signature and I knew my daughter had a hand in this. I stomped up to her room and noticed the door was locked. I started banging on the door.

“Open this damn door right now Ivy.” The door swung open and I didn’t care of the look on my wives face, at me losing my general cool composure.

“What in hell did you say to your brother?” My daughter looked damn well scared, I was never one to raise my voice at my children.

“I told him the truth.” She said it with the same arrogance as that a*****e she brought around awhile back.

“What is the truth Ivy?” She flipped her air and made to turn away but I gripped her forcefully.

“Dad let go!” I held her in place.

“You will tell me what you said right now to your brother.” There was fear in my daughter’s eyes; it was a good thing to bring her back to reality.

“Why do you care? Did he go crying to you?” I jerked her and my wife was screaming at me to let go.

“Molly shut up. No Kate did, Drew visited her right before taking off to go take his life, he said you told him the truth, so what the hell did you tell him? I am not losing another son.” She finally realized what I was talking about.

“That idiot took what I said to heart? I was mad at him lashing out. I told him maybe Carter was right, I told him that all he was doing was bringing pain.” I let go of her wrist. I was beyond pissed at my daughter, I knew my son had a complex and he looked up to Ivy, he looked to her for acceptance and when she denied it.

“If he dies, that is on your head Ivy. Damn it didn’t you think that your brother looked up to you? Or that the day with Carson he thought he was doing the right thing. He told me how he saw tears in your eyes and hated that some dumb a*s would make you cry. He was protecting you but felt torn up about it. Did you ever think that you saying that s**t would make him have another attack?” I was screaming at her. I turned to my wife and gave her the note.

“Molly make sure she stays here and doesn’t do anything stupid. I have to go find our son, I won’t let this one go. I think its time you tell her.” I turned and went out into the garage and started my truck. I didn’t know where my son would be but I knew I had a few minutes, hours at most. I tried to think of the places where I always used to take Declan and Jan. I drove to the old lake and no luck. By now the sun has risen high. I called Kate.

“Is there anyplace where he would of taken you?”

“I’ve been trying to think, I know he wouldn’t of gone to the softball field just because to many people pass it. He would go to a place where no one would find him a place where he could watch the sun rise. He liked to do that after Declan died, watching the sunrise reminded him he was still alive. He always went out to the ridge off of Route 67. He has to be there.” I closed the phone and did a u-turn in the middle of the road and tore off in the other direction. My fists were clenched so tightly against the wheel that my knuckles were the purest white. How could my son be so stupid and want to kill him self. Why would he not see that it would hurt us more not to have him? I know he blames him self for Declan’s death, maybe my wife and I took it to far but if they knew then they would be like us, I only wanted them to move on. I saw the ridge and the glint of the silver car. I slammed on the emergency brake and got out while the truck was still in motion, I ran over to my son’s prone figure and saw his lifeless glass eyes looking out over the ridge.

“Drew wake up.” I shouted. My hand went to his neck and I found a light pulse. As long as that pulse was there, it was a chance to saw him. I called 911 and held pressure to the long gash along his exposed forearm. I noticed a pill bottle on the ground and carefully noticed it was my old prescription pain killers after I had a slipped disk. The bottle was empty.

“Damn it Drew how could you do this to me? Kate? Your mother?” I held my boy in my arms as the ambulance came and took him away. They exposed his binded chest and to see it rise with the volts they were giving him. I cried when they said they had a heart beat. I held my sons hand the whole time while they took him to the hospital. When I got there, they rushed him into surgery to try to repair a main artery in his arm that he sliced. I called my wife first.

“Molly I found him, it wasn’t good. They got a pulse but he has a long road before he is ok.”

“Thank god Corbin, I had a long talk with our daughter and I believe that it would be best if she took a semester off and then transferred out.” I sighed but anything to get our daughter back.

“Look I should call Kate she was really worried and had good right.”

“I told you, they had a thing for one another.” I looked at my shoes, I knew that this was a lot but I didn’t know if they could survive this.

“I don’t know if it will work out.” I hung up the phone not wanting to hear anything else.