4. Collide

Song by Howie Day, Drew begins to question his feelings for Kate.

After a delicious dinner, Kate and I made our way to my room. As I set the DVD up, Kate began rummaging through my old girl clothes.

“Can I really have anything Drew?” I smiled at her happy disposer,

“Yeah what am I going to need it for.” She began to pick out certain items.

“Hey Kate leave it, grab it in the morning. Come watch the movie.” I said once the DVD finally set up. She turned off the light next to my bed and sat on the other side. It was rolling through the credits.

“So do you think your parents would let me steal you for the weekend?” She turned her head to look at me.

“What do you mean?”

“Well in a few weeks, the family will meet Drew and I want you to be there. Be my date for the wedding.” I said trying to sound cool but for some reason I was nervous asking her.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, friends can go to the wedding together right?” She turned away, had I said something wrong? I reach a hand out for her but decided against it and just turned back to the movie. I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I kept replaying the last conversation in my mind, what had I said wrong? Damn it was the first time I wished I had Declan to talk to, he would know what went wrong. I sighed and reached a hand out and placed it on her shoulder. It was all it took for her to come closer and rest her head on my shoulder.

“Did I say something wrong earlier?” I felt her sigh.

“No, your fine.” How come even though she says that statement it makes me feel as if it is a lie.

“So you will come?” She looked up at me and smiled.

“What are friends for.” She rested her head on my shoulder. Soon her breathing evened out. I saw my sister enter my room and I held a finger up for her to be quiet. I slipped from under Kate and met my sister in the hall. She led me to her room.

“I guess I never asked you, how is it for you?” I sat on her bed.

“I feel joy, like the cage my body puts me in is slowly crumbling.” She laughed and I just smiled, she was trying.

“Are you sure the joy isn't from the woman in your bed.” I flushed.

“No Kate and I are just friends. There's nothing between us.”

“Are you sure about that? Cuz from here that isn't what it looks like.” I wondered if I could talk to her like Declan.

“We had a conversation, I asked her to be my date to wedding.. yah know as a friend. But she seemed to close off when I said friends.” My sister had an I told you so face.

“Did you ever think that maybe she is feeling a little more than friends?”

“How am I supposed to know?” She laughed.

“You were born a girl, you have the knowledge of how we tick. Stop thinking with your guy induced brain and look at her signs.” I groaned and laid back.

“Talking with Declan was a hell of a lot easier.” She laughed.

“Are you sure you two talked? Convo's with Declan were like pulling teeth at times.” I just grunted.

“I see you picked up on that trait. Declan did that when he wasn't going to say a thing.” I laughed.

“We talked, I mean at times it can get confusing. I mean your right I have the knowledge of both sexes but when your a guy you don’t think with your heart as much, its like we reason with our brain. Most times incorrect but we don't lead with our heart.” She smiled.

“And that’s why girls get heart broken Drew. You got to combine your big heart with your little brain.” I glared at her.

“Just talk to her, I think that she is slowly coming to feelings for you. And I think she doesn't want to because you guys were friends and she isn't gay but once you became a guy then its like things change. By the sounds of it you've had the feelings of a guy too.” I looked at the old photo.

“Freshman year, I had feelings for her. But I mean its now going to be Senior year. I just don't want to fall again to be torn apart.” She eyed me over.

“And until you risk getting burned you two will tip toe around each other. Now get out of my room... Brother.” She smiled at the last part and I stood and kissed the top of her head before she shoved me out of her room. I went back into my room but stopped in the doorway and just stared at her sleeping form.

“You know if you stare at me any longer I will have holes in my body.” I jumped at the sound of her voice.

“Sorry bout that.” I closed the door and made my way over to my side of the bed before I climbed in. She came closer and I stiffened when I held her in my arms, slowly I relaxed as I stroked her long brown curls. Maybe she did have something for me, but does that mean I still hold what I felt freshman year?