2. Open your eyes

Song by Snowpatrol. In changeing image Drew and Kate have a close call. Not all are welcoming to the new Jan.

 

When I woke I was against a warm body. I looked down up and saw Jan.. I mean Drew. He was breathing evenly, but his eyes slowly began to open. He looked down at me and smiled. I got out of bed and went into the laundry room to get his shirt that I washed. He was sitting when I came back in. I noticed my parents were out. I quickly changed and so did he. We walked downstairs and he made us some bagels to go and off we went in my car. I kept glancing at him. You couldn't see the scars the way I cut it and it was messy but definitely not girl.

“You know if you keep looking at me, we might drive off the road.” Somehow he has lowered his voice it was still a bit to high but it wasn't that noticeable.

“And how do you know I am even looking at you?” He just smiled.

“I just know.” I shook my head and we arrived at the mall a few towns over. I was hoping no one was here.

“Come on Kate, no one will notice. You have nothing to lose.” He was confident, I was wondering what else would change with my best friend. We walked the mall and went into a few spots. Even for a guy he had a soft spot for shoes. (sneakers) We walked in footlocker and he instantly went over to the running shoes and bought him self a new pair of black nikes. I just shook my head at him, and he just shrugged. We were walking out of footlocker when I heard a voice I dread.

“Hey Kate!” We turned and there was our other friend. I saw Drew look nervous. She was big on gossip and if she found out about Drew it wouldn't be good.

“Hey Danielle.” I put on a fake face and she looked Drew over but he held a good poker face.

“Anyways, what are you doing here?” Drew stepped forward and took the bags.

“You have fun Kate, I will meet up with you later.” I knew he was trying to spend less time around her and he walked off.

“Who was that cutie?” I tried not to laugh at my boy crazy friend.

“That was Drew. I was helping him shop since he preferred not going with his mom.” She sighed and walked me in the other direction.

“So where has Jan been I haven't heard from her in a week. I had a few prospects for her to check out. You remember Dan from the baseball team? Well supposedly he has a thing for our Jan.” Did I mention, she liked to play match maker.

“I don't think that is a good idea Danielle. You know Jan is just not interested.” She humphed and kept rattling on. I would have to ask Drew later who he was into.

“So who is this Drew guy?” I looked at my friend.

“Just a friend, I met him a while back.”

“So you wouldn't mind if I flirted with him.” I was a bit creeped out.

“I wouldn't but his girlfriend might.” I lied easily.

“Darn all the good ones are always taken. Well I’m off tell Jan we have lunch next Sunday if you see her.” I made a hasty getaway and when I reached my car. Drew was leaned up against it. I apologized for the wait and unlocked the car, then threw him the keys. He looked shocked but he came round and got into the drivers seat.

“So Danielle is trying to make matchmaker with Dan for Jan.” He laughed.

“The more I think about it, the harder it is going to be to hide this from the school.” I looked at him, but he was focused on the road.

“So what are you going to do?” He looked at me we were stopped at a red light.

“Enjoy my summer and then maybe transfer out.” I was a bit hurt he wouldn't just come back.

“You know what they would do to me if they found out. Hell I can't wait to see my mothers reaction.” He took what I was thinking and gave me the answers.

“Well what about me?” He smiled.

“We have the summer, we can still chat. I mean what are friends for?” I looked down at the hands in my lap. Right just friends. We made it to my house and I noticed my parents in the drive way. I looked over to Drew who went pale.

“Ut oh.” I sighed.

“There going to know soon enough.”

“Wasn't planing on today.” We got out of the car and my parents came over. It was unusual for me to let anyone to drive my car let alone a boy.

“Who is this?” My father spoke quickly and hurriedly.

“This is Drew a friend of mine.” Drew stood tall and held a hand out to my father.

“Sir.” My father eyed him.

“Whats your full name son?” He looked panicked but sighed.

“Drew Leo Dawson.” It registered on my fathers face the last name.

“You a cousin of Jan's?” He looked to me but I couldn't help him, I didn't know what to do.

“No. I am Jan... Was.” He spoke as if unsure.

“What do you mean boy?” Drew sighed.

“Mind if we talk inside?” We left the bags and followed my parents inside. I reached my hand out and squeezed his to comfort him.

“So what is the meaning of this Drew.” My mother spoke kind and softly.

“I was Jan. I am a FTM. Female to Male transgender.”

“So your a freak.” My father said. I saw Drew wince and stiffen up.

“No I am no freak sir. I was born in the wrong body. Every day I wake up and I wonder why? Sometimes I suffer from Gender dysphoria. I have always known I was a guy.” I remembered the scars on the back of his neck, that was when he was forced to portray something he wasn't.

“But you are a girl!” He looked like he was sucker punched.

“Dad enough!” I shouted at my father.

“Get him out of here.” I saw Drew stand and walk out of the house.

“What the hell dad. That is my best friend. No matter what he or she is, doesn't mean I don't care. You were an a*****e. Do you know what happens when someone suffers from Gender dysphoria? They tend to injure them selves. Look at the back of his neck and there are nicks. He has suffered enough, try to understand.” My mother placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Go to him dear, make sure he is ok. I will deal with your father.” I hugged my mom and went out side. Drew was pacing back and forth, rubbing at his neck. I walked over to him and hugged him from behind.

“Don't think of it.” I whispered.

“He thinks I am a freak. I mean I am, I am boy in this s****y body.” I hugged him closer.

“I know your a guy, you are a good looking one to.” He turned around and I still held on to him.

“How are you so understanding?” I let go of him.

“How can I not. I can't change it, the more you fight something the harder it becomes. So once you explained it I saw the signs I was missing. You are still my best friend, I've seen you at your ups and downs.” He sighed.

“I can't wait to tell my parents. Just imagine your fathers reaction.” I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“No ones reaction matters. Its how you feel.” His arms went out and hugged me.

“Like they say, just be a man and rip the band-aid off.” He smiled.

“Take it were going to see my parents?” I searched his blue eyes.

“You can't hide forever.” He sighed and let go of me, we got into the car and drove the few blocks to his house. We took the things up to his room.

“Hey Jan, when you come down we need to talk.” His mother said up the stairs.

“You have no idea.” I heard him mumble. He was nervous as we descended the stairs. I saw him walk around his room. He kept fidgeting putting off the inevitable.

“Drew, there is no way around this. You can't keep hurting your self.” His head snapped around to mine.

“How.” I rubbed my neck and he understood. He came over to me and stood in front of me.

“Be there with me Kate?” I smiled and took his hand as we walked down the stairs. I let go of his hand as he walked in, sitting there was his parents and his sister.

“Mom we have to talk.”