Steps To Survive In A Horror Movie

I was watching "The Unborn" and I had to write this down.

1. Never go anywhere by yourself, anywhere, at any time of day or night. (Unless its the bathroom... Maybe :P ) If you're walking home from the store, from a friends house... never! Especially down a long, windey road by the woods.

 

2.  If anything goes into the woods (Aka a creepy little boy, a CUTE little boy, a pretty balloon, something shiny) DON'T FOLLOW IT. More than likely, it will lead you to your impending doom. I promise.

 

3. If your car breaks down or you want to have fun, don't stop at the house that hasn't been touched in years. There's something evil that lives inside, and no. It does not want to play dress up or make cookies with you. No make-overs or spin the bottle. More like the "Chase The Scared Person Around The House With A Knife and Try To Kill Them." That's they're favorite game to play at sleepovers.

 

4. If you feel you're in a scary movie situation, become BFF's with a priest. You will most likely need it.

 

5. DO NOT LISTEN TO THE SCARY NOISES. They may sound like something you wanna check out, but refrain from doing any of that.  Call the police, lock yourself in your room, stay put, prepare to fight. The noises are trying to kill you.

 

6. GET RID OF YOUR FREAKING MEDECINE CABINET. 

Yeah, I know. You wanna be able to see yourself in the mirror. But, wow, do you WANT to scare the crap out of yourself? NO. Burn it. Burry the ashes. No questions. Listen to grandma. haha.

 

7. If you live alone, get a roommate! If you live alone, the bigger opportunity someone has to blow your brains out; Less witnesses, less details for the police.. Serial killer common sense. The killer/evil spirit/demon/freaky stalker might get them first, giving you a bit of a head start to save your sorry tail. You can mourn later. RUN!

 

8. When you're home alone, leave the lights on. Who cares about the high stupid electric bill. If you see something coming, the chances of you getting possessed or murdered drops. If you walk around the corner, and you don't know what's there, oh boy. Prepare to change your pants.

 

Author's Note

:) Just some random stuff. Tell me if it helps!

Reviews

[Chris]

Hahahaha this was great cuz it is so true! I love it!

[Jane Doe]

luv it just very awsomeish who wouldnt luv its all like laugh laugh and hahaha an hehehe its awsome
luv ya
abbie

[Domo]

Wow, very nice. A good chuckle, with a bit of insanity in this. lol
No, but overall this was cute, a little humorous, and sickly informative.
~D♥m♥~