The Heart of the Storm

I sat by the open window and watched the rain fall, much like I did every night. I watched the clouds transform with every full gust of wind and the lightning dance and zigzag in the distance. Of course, even with all this going on, I was thinking about you. Who else was there?

 

I reached out and touched the rough screen separating me from the roof and the onslaught of the storm. I wondered how the storms were where you were. Were they the same as the ones we spent together? Are they calmer? Rougher? More often? My forehead touched the cold glass of the window. My warm breath soon fogged up before my eyes, and I could see nothing anymore. It felt like the same fog that veiled my eyes also veiled my heart to reason, to truth.. to anything other than the pain of losing you.

 

My right thigh started to throb. I pulled my face away from the glass and lifted up my shorts, and removed the tissues stuck to my skin. The bleeding had almost stopped. I dabbed at them, and threw the filthy tissues in the trash can. My first relapse in months was tonight..

 

Everytime the cuts throbbed, they threatened to scream your name. For now.. for now, they were only whispering, shut up from the physical pain, no longer feuled by the fire of my emotional distress. For now, I could turn a blind eye to your name, to your face that forever seemed to be burned into my eyelids. I was numb to everything else for a moment. I breathed in deeply as the wind pushed its way through my window. I felt the moisture in it, the invisible waves in the sky.. and suddenly, I needed to be a part of it.

 

I got up, and stepped slowly across my hardwood floors, which creaked loudly in protest to my weight. I made my way to my door, and slowly turned the lock. Returning to my bed, and I opened the window ever wider, and began to remove my screen. I was almost there..

 

The screen slipped from my fingers, and banged softly on the roof. I winced, wondering if anyone had heard the noise over the storm. I counted to fifteen, then swallowed my paranoia and proceeded to step out onto the roof. Immediately, I was drenched in the warm summer rain. It pounded against my face and dripped down my body, soaking my clothes and making me finally feel alive. My hair curled and frizzed, and I breathed in the clean air. I turned my face toward the ever changing gray-black sky. I wondered, how would it feel to be up there now?

 

How would it feel to live in the clouds? I didn't mean heaven, although I often wondered about that as well. I wondered how it would feel to live on a cloud, the same way someone lived in a house or under a bride. Did people ever hope to live on the clouds, like people dreamed to live on the moon?

 

I closed my eyes and felt the forces of nature acting upon me and my surroundings. I heard the roar of the thunder rip through my soul and shake my body,the flashes of the lightning illuminating my pale skin and taking pictures of the world; the wind attacking me, trying to knock me over one minute, then pick me up the next; the lukewarm rain rinsing the blood from my thigh..

 

I finally felt at peace.

I only wish it'd never end.. but for now, I'd do what I was best at.

I'd pretend.

Author's Note

My first real story in a long time.. I hope you enjoy.

Reviews

[Stewart]

This was a nice read. Good job.

[misha]

This was so vivid, great job!

[MOON]

very good write .