i dear not close my eyes

i hold my breath but i dear not close my eyes
as i have cloned myself and i have become a fan of your work
i sit and i watch as your presence awakens my smile time and time again
i try to fathom this viewer tries to stretch her mind into understanding

i hold my breath but i dear not close my eyes
i often wonder if you are aware of how you amaze me
there is nothing that's too hard to say
i want you to know that first and above anything else you are my friend
someone i can pour my heart out to
some one i can tell that im afraid of the dark " i really am"

i close my eyes but i dear not close my eyes
as i wonder how i stay alive while you take my breath away
your smile is wonderful and who you are perfects it
i hope you know how truly beautiful you are
from the inside out and the outside in

i hold my breath but i dear not close my eyes
as i hope not to miss a second of memory
memories that time shall train and give birth to
i would blame myself as jamaica blames Bruce
if ever i miss out on making you smile

Reviews

[TTBoy28]

I think a re-write would help this - especially in the first stanza (last line). It's just too wordy. I also think you may be trying to say "dare" instead of using a term of endearment "dear." I think it could be good afterwards.