Notes on L

the fried man

meticulous, aviator’s, tiny red

bathing suit

the porcelain woman

hat

pink flower

for whom the man moves

a reclining chair closer

to the water

and his rum and coke

she reclines

he gets a plastic chair

and sits facing her

while her legs point at the ocean

L

he fetches purified water

for the dog

tiny white

furry

into a frisbee

the rest

he pours onto her

white leg

and he still sits

L

he old enough to be her father: his

abused

skin

they fight

Reviews

[Sam Cambell]

I had to read this over a couple times, but once I got the meaning I loved it. Amazing the way the "porcelain woman" is depicted as so petty and perfectly ignorant, while those words aren't said throughout the poem, just impied. I loved the way you put in the details about the way the woman is sitting. It's like he thinks she is so rediculous but can't stop watching her, imagining what it would be like to live a life like hers while rolling his eyes at her at the same time. The last line didn't make much sense, but overall, very good.