When Thoughts Collide.

Free verse. Conflicted emotions. Not sure how I feel about this one. Unedited as usual.

I need you.

You know I do.

You know how

Illogically I tend

To place my trust.

So much in the hands

Of so few people.

For one so suspicious,

I show my hand

Much too easily.

 

It hurts

To not always have

Someone to turn to.

It hurts

To want to ask them

To bear my weight

On their shoulders.

 

Why must it be that

Those I want to let

Into my

Slightly twisted world

Still fighting to spin

On whatever axis it has left

Must be the ones that

I care most about protecting

From its loose orbit.

 

I hate to give you

My pain.

I hate to make you

Take responsibility.

I hate to make you

My crutch.

You don’t deserve this,

Yet you accept it with

Paradoxical grace

And perhaps even

Gratitude.

 

I know that there

Is only one

 Logical explanation

For your selflessness

Regarding me and

My tilted reality.

Love.

But love is cruel.

I can’t watch

How I burden you.

Not even with

Copious amounts

Of oxytocin

And serotonin

And dopamine

Paving a comfortable path

For you to slave down.

 

And so,

Here I am.

In desperate need of someone.

In desperate need of you.

As expected,

You were there for me,

This time just as

The many others.

 

But tonight was different.

Tonight

I pushed you away.

Tonight

I told you

That I was fine.

Tonight

I’ll cover myself

In a poison of blood and tears.

Tonight

You’ll go to bed with

A smile on your face. 

Author's Note

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Reviews

[Jennesis]

Floral...
I heard the conflict with the narrator in this piece. Wanting to share but keeping that burden. Beautifully illustrated here

[Bee C.]

I'm afraid there's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. But feedback is always good, so I'll allow some sentiments to be repeated. I sense that this is one of those poems that you don't want to write so much as it bursts out of you and just needs to be written and shared. Perhaps it's unconventional, but conflicted emotions are meant to be that way. This needs no editing.

Lying to someone to make them feel better is so common, so relatable, so very hurtfully real. In order to protect those we love from the torment they wish to pull you out of... Vulnerability is such a paradoxical thing. But this is great as always - your creativity really shines.

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

POWERFUL and very creative look into the emotions of love, both good and bad. AWESOME.

[Tegan]

"Not even with
Copious amounts
Of oxytocin
And serotonin
And dopamine
Paving a comfortable path
For you to slave down."

OH MY GODDDDDDDDD YES you're brilliant

[RileyRedding]

"Copious amounts

Of oxytocin

And serotonin

And dopamine

Paving a comfortable path

For you to slave down."

I said almost the exact same thing in a piece, that's awesome.

This piece is unconventionally beautiful. A great read.

[Lizardo]

This is actually a pretty interesting piece you have here, I really enjoyed that you added some thought in there.
Very powerful poem, it's not bad, its powerful

[Confuser]

First verse: Love it so honest, floraleverything, thought I could read vs by vs; could not stop reading! This unedited, why edit it is so beautiful. I will put it in my library, to read again. It is so relateable to me, and certain to so many others; to depend on others is so hard; to need others, but we all do; a vulnerable poem, so honest and beautiful. I hate to make you my crutch, I could go on quoting this poem. I just want you to know how great it is indeed. Thank you.