Confessions.

This is internal dialogue about my feelings, what I fear could happen if I express them, and the process of trying to make my decision. Of course it's in my usual chaotic personal style.

I want to tell you.

I could tell you.

It wouldn't take long.

Just a few little words.

I want you to know.

But I don’t want you to know.

I don’t want to take the risk.

There are only two responses

That my anxious mind

Can formulate and believe:

The first is the cliché

Of a happily ever after

That never ever happens

Outside of Hollywood.

The second is the

Much more cynical scenario 

Of failing,

And rejection.

Of losing you.

Yes.

There probably is

Some sort of safe middle ground.

But with my mind

Stained with such strong feelings,

I can hardly accept that.

To me,

The outcome could only be

The highest high or the lowest low.

This poem molds

My chaotic thoughts

Into something more palatable 

Than anything I could try

To express aloud.

The only thing left to contemplate

Is telling you through 

This jumble of perceptive words,

Or letting them rot within me.

Author's Note

Tear my one-sitting-messy-personal-emotional-unedited-raw free verse apart :) If you like it, check out my other stuff!

Reviews

[cre]

I dont think ive ever been one of those ppl that exist in between the extremes, has caused me mischief to be sure but i think i'd rather know the peaks of high/low simply in order to appreciate the nirvana days.. also like the layout, well structured and easy on the eye... *5th line of 1st stanza.. might have meant to put "to" in the sentence? .. cheers.

[floraleverything]

Hahah wow thanks! There is definitely supposed to be a 'to' in there somewhere

[sonnie ibadah]

sometimes i think that the best way of letting things out is by writing down our most deep dark confusing feelings; fear, worry, depression. The more confusing they are the more original they seem, raw and not like an empty piece written to perfection.

this is honest and heartfelt. nice write.

[floraleverything]

I agree completely! Thanks for the review Sonnie!

[sonnie ibadah]

you're welcome

[Jennesis]

Loved the line "stained with such string feelings". Love that.. I hear the conflict in you....

[floraleverything]

Thanks Jen! Always love hearing from you :)

[Don't just B, but B ama..]

"But with my mind
Stained with such strong feelings," Love that line, actually the entire piece, but I believe that is my favorite. Tell him, tell him, if he doesn't feel the same then, "The outcome could only be
The highest high or the lowest low," at least you acknowledge this and are thus prepared. GO FOR IT. Well written very emotional, I could feel them.

[floraleverything]

Hahaha thanks B! I just might!