The Doormat

I saw you
hurry down
the dusty path
to my house

the clouds
that had kept me company
all these days
were now clearing away

the sun was out
and shining
as if desperately wanting
to be noticed

but I'm glad you came

I had convinced myself
that doors were only meant
to shut reality away
until you knocked

come in

enter with your
muddy shoes

paint my floor
with the hues of
the places you've been

I yearn to smell the world

come in

don't give the doormat
what it wants

don't give it a part
of you

just come in,
whole.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Great writing evokes emotion & I want to hate this narrator for being such a doormat. What I love is that you didn't make this profile predictable at all, it's very surprising & complex, even as the underlying theme is relatable. Even tho this narrator is being presented as a doormat, there are people who might actually be in such a situation for good reasons, too, such as someone who can't get around well enuf to be with the other person, but loves when he/she returns & relates outside experiences, if it refreshes the relationship instead of causing resentment or jealousy. Then the last word seems to be a twist. Here the narrator has been so wimpy but throws in that last word like a knife to the heart (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[emipoemi]

"but I'm glad you came" should be "for [or "because"] I'm glad you came" as it's adding to the sunshine and rainbows of the previous stanzas rather than contradicting them.

This is otherwise phenomenal!! It's like Shel Silverstein meets .....I wanna say Sylvia Plath, but I have yet to pinpoint the other poet. But I love this!! Marvellous job, Zoy! This is poetry in motion!

[Zoya]

So glad you liked it, emi! Thank you so much for your time :))

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.

[Relic]

This is fun to read. I like the attitude in the words. Great stuff.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Relic. I'm glad you liked it :)

[Onlyme]

Zoya, perfection beautifully done. Bravo.

[Zoya]

Why thank you :) means a lot!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love this allegory. Some would want to leave the past at the door and move on in a new relationship and the new partner may relish the past being left outside too. Love the voice in this as the protagonist appears grateful and welcoming.

[Zoya]

Thank you very much for taking out time to read this one. I'm so glad you liked it :)

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

This is awesome, Zoya.
Your metaphors are excellence, your lines are perfect, your statement are well presented, and all this made me flow well with it.
Beautifully conveyed.

[Zoya]

Your review is awesome! Thank you very much for your kind words. Appreciate it :)

[TheJordBaker]

Very clever piece, well written.

[Zoya]

Thank youu! Glad you liked it :)

[Writeforlovely]

desperate for love. aren't we all. great write!

[Zoya]

Ah tell me about it :) thank you for your appreciation. Means much!

[Alicia Giardina]

This is lovely. I like the direction you took with this and the end made me smile

[Zoya]

So glad!! Thanks a lot for your time :)