Corset

And the corset tightened.

I gasped not for air,
but for the scent
of dew drops
on the crisp, sun-soaked grass,
the aroma of the fresh leaves
swaying to and fro
to the winds' lullaby.

I gasped for
the fragrance of
wild flowers, the clay,
the nature
that always was
greener on the
other side.

Reviews

[The Iron Horseman]

Very nicely done. I loved the metaphor and you allusion to the grass always being greener elsewhere. The imagery was very evocative, particularly the references to natural scents. I too love those smells, and the way they all change in the winter. A fine piece of work.

[Zoya]

Thank you for your kind words! So happy you liked it :)

[The Iron Horseman]

You are very welcome.

[Gabby The GAB]

Living every moment, well-written poetry. loved it :D

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Gabby! :)

[.]

A nicely straightforward poem, Zoe....

Fine use of metaphor in title and meaning; the tightening of the corset coinciding with the gasping and subsequent breathing in of the beauty of the new season. Those final words are very relevant....one always gasps for those things that are never within touch or sight.

Some wonderful descriptive imagery in this one. Short, but full of clarity and well written, as always. Well Done.

[Zoya]

So glad you liked it! Thank you very much, Doodley :)

[Wild Rose]

I love the smell of fresh air following rain

To me a corset is something restrictive
You seem to be gasping for freedom in the fresh air that I love

[Zoya]

I love that smell, too!
Thank you much for your words here :)

[Ms Paragon]

Great use of the corset as a metaphor and wonderful use of imagery! Nice work!

[Zoya]

Thank you so much! Glad you liked it :)

[Ms Paragon]

My pleasure!

[Najam Us Saher]

I feel the freshness of that meadow. 'Corset' here gives the symbolism of you being trapped and unable to do what your heart desires.
Very descriptive, I loved this.

[Zoya]

Exactly!
Thank you for your kind words, Najam! Appreciated :)

[Najam Us Saher]

You are always welcome :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Zoe, I have a suggestion.
What if you start the poem with
As the corset tightened,
(The entire poem)
And let the last line be
And the corset tightened more.
By this, it takes the readers on a journey between the protagonist's thought and reality.

[Zoya]

Hey that's a good idea!
But I actually want the poem to end with the 'greener on the other side' phrase. If it wasn't for it, I bet I would've done what you just suggested! I really appreciate it, thank you Najam :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Few days ago, that phrase went with the greenery where I stay now. So, I was enchanted by it too :)

[Zoya]

.......:))

[angel]

When I was young, a corset or a girdle, was considered necessary for decency's sake.A lady, we were told, did NOT jiggle.
Then the 70s, and Three's Company, came along to challenge all of that. But corsets...yeah. Don't miss 'em.

[Zoya]

I bet you don't!
Thank you so much for your time and words. Appreciated! :)

[angel]

It wasn't thought as decent
Letting everything hang out
Not like all of the recent
read moreIt wasn't thought as decent
Letting everything hang out
Not like all of the recent
Letting boobies swing about.
We had to squeeze ourselves in tight
We'd pull and tug and wiggle
To get ourselves packed in just right
Thus avoiding any jiggle.

[Gee]

Give me unfettered juggling anyway :))

[Gee]

Bollocks......jiggling

[angel]

I, dear heart, am with you completely.

[wordman]

sounds like she is sucking in fall with all its fragrances

[Zoya]

That she is! Thank you for the review, wordman! Much appreciated :)

[wordman]

you`re welcome zoe

[emipoemi]

No comment needed......this is well done! Much enjoyed.

[Zoya]

I'm glad you enjoyed! Thank you, emi :)

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.

[Onlyme]

I like this. Made me think of a girl with her corset getting lacing it up behind her back from a helper. And the window is open in her bedroom and she smells these lovely fragrances of wildflowers nice projected and great imagination.

[Zoya]

Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts! Means a lot :)