Bliss

    The barrier between her eyes and the unknown world around was removed as she lifted her eye-lids. Razor-like albicant rays of light blinded her before those innocent eyes adjusted to it. It appeared as if she was standing in the midst of a vast field; a field that grew off-white grass instead of green.The sky above, a shade of mazarine, was unusually still and clear. No sound could be heard, except the deafening sound of silence itself. She stepped forward; closer to the origin of the dazzle. She had never felt lighter before. It seemed as if she was almost floating.

    A few metres away stood a glistening, crystalline quadpod. She could make out a faint outline of a spherical structure on top of the stand. A few more steps forward disclosed its identity. It was an orbuculum. She had never seen one before.

    The first thing she saw in the crystal ball was her own twisted reflection; though unshapely, it still had an element of surprise for her. Where were her dark circles? Her scars? All the marks on her body that never failed to expose her as a weak, suffering, vulnerable human being? Instead, her skin, now, glowed in all its glory. For the first time in forever she felt confident. Never had she ever thought she could look so beautiful.

    In no time there was activity in the orb. Little purple and black clouds merged inside; at first, forming a hazy picture, and then- a very clear one, helping her to sink in the reality of the situation. She saw herself again. But this time, it was her scarred self. She lay unconscious on her bed; froth trickling out and down her pale lips. Contrary to human behaviour, her present self stood smiling at the orb. Im finally through.

    She glanced to her left, and then to her right. There rose a tall, flamboyant directional sign post; consisting of three arrows pointing in different directions. Emblazoned on each one of them were few golden letters.

    “Natural- Murder- Suicide.” She read aloud.

    There wasn’t much thinking now, only doing. Her gaze fixed upon the path indicated by the third arrow, she proceeded, hoping for the best; hoping the Almighty had something good in store for her.

Author's Note

P.S.- Fiction, completely. My life is very dear to me ;-p

Reviews

[Najam Us Saher]

I am starting to worry about you after reading this. At some point in one's life everyone feels that death is very good than a life we are living. Remember, one of the greatest sin which god never forgives is suicide.
About the story, you made me feel what the protagonist is going through and this is the beauty of a good story narrator, you did it very well. I am just concerned about you that is why I said the thing mentioned above. At such a young age such thoughts shouldn't come to your naive mind.

[Abraham George]

@ Najam- I like the way you think here. Suicide is never a solution for your problems.
I an happy that you understand that.

[Najam Us Saher]

Strange how once I felt the same. I don't want to live and death is better and all. I am glad that life is not that cruel towards me because I understand now. Feeling good to read your comment :)

[Abraham George]

Comments you gave her was my comment on your suicide note( poem)

[Najam Us Saher]

Oh! I don't remember.

[Abraham George]

you remember that you wrote a poem that time??

[Najam Us Saher]

I don't remember the title. I remember writing that for a contest.

[Abraham George]

no not for contest.

[Zoya]

Najam, you shouldn't worry. It's totally fiction. I also changed my author's note after reading your review ;p
Thank you very much, Najam. You are ever so kind to me. I appreciate you :)

[Najam Us Saher]

I am glad to see you :)
You are most welcome.

[Pragati Chaudhary]

More than beautifully described!

[Cadel]

You can really go deep for your age, which is good, you're highly conscious.

[Zoya]

Thank you for your time and kind words, Cadel :)

[Wyrn Tiger]

Im glad to hear yur not suicidal, i hate when they take fiction peaces and say, Whats wrong with you? I laugh at them because, well if they said that, that means its good.

[Zoya]

Haha, I guess. Thanks for reading :)

[Suhd]

It's a juicy read. I'm always keen to observe and see the imagery. It's a bliss for me. Bravo :)

[Zoya]

Glad you liked it. Thank you very much :)

[Suhd]

Always a pleasure :)

[matrixmark]

Vivid. Very vivid.
I have to say that the last 3 paragrpahs were SO STRIKING for me, it really made this piece so much more powerful than it already was. Your usage of words is growing by the month. Even though I am not on here as regular as I used to be, I can see that you are really striving for greatness in your writing. I have always had you down as an exceptional writer and this piece just backs it all up. You have a great understanding of impact sentences and using tricks such as best word last, making every word count, keeping it short yet straight to the point (even though you might not know that you are doing it, you are doing it)
You have learned so so much since I first met you and to see your progress really come into its own puts a great big smile on my face.
This is one of your best pieces (they are all good though Zoe) and I really do look forward to the next. I have no complaints about the way it is written - if flows beautifully, and this is how writing is mean't to be done.
Paragraph perfect.
Sentence strong.
Words are used Wisely.

GREAT WORK ZOE!

Mark.

[Zoya]

Hey Mr.Mark! As always, your words are so kind and I'm really happy you liked it. Your review, in fact, put a smile across my face. Thank you loads for your support all through this year.
Have a very merry Christmas!

[matrixmark]

Always look forward to reading your wok (time permitting)

You have a lovely christmas too!

Mark.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think this is very much vivid, despite the formidable tone here. I also love your word choices and the way this reads so poetic.
Very well written, Zoe.

[Zoya]

Thank you very much for your kind words, Yumna. I appreciate them! :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome. A pleasure reading (:

[Coyote Poetry]

A interesting tale my friend. A feel of a dark tale leading to a wise ending. Each of us will struggle and if we are lucky. See more light than darkness. Thank you Zoe for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[Zoya]

Thank you so much, Coyote, for your continuous support of my writings! I truly appreciate it :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome Zoe.

[wordman]

touching story zoe,you have a vivid imagination

[Zoya]

Thanks a lot, wordman! You are appreciated :)

[emipoemi]

...........I have no words.....my voice is in my awe!!
Holy kwap! I've often believed that only a true poet knows how to write prose. This is poetic, and it's compelling, and its powerful in its brevity. Well freaking done!

[Zoya]

Oh thank you, Emi! It means a lot :)

[emipoemi]

my pleasure

[Ghania]

Wow. This was so amazingly written Zoe. I really liked the way you depicted it.
Keep writing! =)

[Zoya]

Thank you very much, Ghania! I appreciate your words :)

[Ghania]

You're always welcome. Keep writing stuff like this. I really love it

[Zoya]

So glad you do :)