A Beautiful Revenge

A widow full of vanity,
Was the identity of Mrs.Cole.
Who from her late husband,
Inherited his fortune whole.

Living in a huge bungalow,
With servants at her feet.
Oh what a narcissist she was,
A total beauty freak!

And once it so happened,
Her make-up-kit vanished.
Accused a servant of the crime,
Whom she straightaway banished.

Years passed the same way,
She didn't change a bit.
While the dismissed attendant,
Plans of revenge he knit.

Ready to take some action,
To his family he bid goodbye.
Set for the widow's house,
An eye for an eye.

He stood outside the bungalow,
Under the moonless night.
Placed a ladder against the wall,
Fire of revenge did ignite.

Climbed up quietly and prudently,
With a knife tightly clutched.
Joy bubbled inside him,
As her room's window he touched.

On seeing her former servant,
Mrs.Cole gave a loud cry.
Then shouted in a squeaky tone,
"Oh my, oh my!"

The predator inched closer,
Flaunting the sharp knife.
"Stop!" said the widow,
The deceased Mr.Cole's wife.

"Move forward another step?"
She continued, "Don't you dare!
Kill me only when,
I'm done settling my hair."

Author's Note

Nonsense, maybe.

Reviews

[ZakLeonRamsey]

I wouldn't say it is nonsense, this is my favourite poem so far on Writerscafe.org. I haven't been on this website for long, about a week or less, but I really like this poem and I find it really catchy. I'm not a professional, I'm far from a professional, but what I can say, is that this poem is BRILLIANT. The way it rhymes makes this poem even better. It is really catchy, (for the second time, I can't help but mention).
The poem is really long, but I didn't care, I was wanting to find out what the attendant was going to do to Mrs.Cole. I'm in love with this poetry which I call a masterpiece. I think you should write more like this, I love this poetry to bits. I REALLY wanted to find out what happened to Mrs.Cole, which was the thing that made me careless about how long this poem was. I was interested since the beginning. Quite a good poem, Zoe.

[Zoya]

Thank you much for your very kind words. Really appreciate it!

[H L Rose]

I thought the poem as a whole was interesting and clearly written, but the twist at the end was my favorite part. I thought you did a good job building up fear, yet ending it with humor.

[Zoya]

Thank you, Hannah! I appreciate it :)

[S.zaynab.kamoonpury]

Ooh my extraordinary melodramatic, humour and tragic together. Mere poem fun, what a fashionista widow he he. U write impressively for yor young age. Kudos.



I'm a newbie here, pls read my poems but pleez review/comment only my 2nd , my newest poem here, titled "scenery medley contrasts " , wud luv to know your thoughts, Always nice to meet poem pals. And I like to know if my poem is easily understood as intended.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much. You are appreciated! :)
I'll sure be checking out your work.

[boygene borice]

Good writing. But avoid using punctuation marks, it makes the poem look like a story...without punctuation marks, the flow will still be maintained and poetic mood will be created.
Keep writing :)

[Zoya]

Oh, I see. Thank you for your time and review. Means much! :)

[boygene borice]

Welcome :)

[poetgurl]

Wow! You are a very good writer for your age,
I am impressed, keep writing always. This is really good.

[Zoya]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it :)

[mattavelli]

Hello, Zoe, thank you for entering my contest! :)
This was a fun read and the widow Cole's end was a tragic one.

[Zoya]

It was my pleasure.
And thanks much for your time and review. Appreciated! :)

[barleygirl]

Delightfully dramatic & playful at the end! I never saw the ending twist coming, which is the best way. Good rhyme & rhythm, since I'm a fan of not always having these things buttoned up in perfectly matching lines. I found this to be surprisingly sophisticated for someone your age, the way you included many well-described details that set the scene as dramatically as if we were watching a film. The best writing, to me, is when it feels like watching a movie. You've done this with tons of vivid & realistic & playfully-combined details! Have a great Christmas my young friend! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Zoya]

Thank you so very much for your kind appreciation, Margie! Glad you liked it :)
You too have a jolly good Christmas!

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha nice twist in closing ..love the humor ..rhyming is not easy .. especially to keep it in the language one speaks in without compromising syntax ..same with rhythms ... you have chosen a difficult form and done very well with it says i .. i hope you continue throughout your life (you are so young) to write and write and write ;)
E.

[Zoya]

Haha, I'll write until the very end of my life ;)
Thank you loads for your read and review, Einstein! Appreciated!

[60s]

absolute brilliance! I mean that in the most genuine tone I can convey. Your talents when it comes to putting together art are Peculiarly profound. I believe strongly that everyone that read this.. held on chewing their nails until the end. Which I loved. The irony of the situation, the vanity displayed.

Fantastic, Really. Job well done.

[Zoya]

Thank you so very much for your extremely kind words! It means a lot :)

[Paul Bell]

Very mature for a 14 year old.
Great pace to your poem.
Great dramatic twist at the end.
Now tell me. Was her hair okay at the end.

[Zoya]

Not too sure but I heard the police handled her body roughly, and that includes her hair. Poor her.
Thank you very much Paul! I really appreciate it :)

[Paul Bell]

Great read.

[Zoya]

Thanks again!